Who is better to make a reference on an ex-husband, than his ex-spouse? Carol’s ex had been married before and she believed his first ex might have unlocked some very powerful secrets about his character. Perhaps his first ex could have moved Carol’s life along in a better direction. It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Carol operates an online database of ex-husbands who behave badly. Picture an online dating site with haunting profiles, no-ice-breakers, but plenty of opportunity for chat. For $100, a betrayed woman can register her ex on the site. She completes background info. on him and lists his unsavory actions. The registrant has to be divorced from this male for at least one year before she enlists (profile) her man, so the initial anger’s dissolved and she is less likely to use profanity. Profanity is not permitted; although some descriptions are so seemingly accurate that it’s difficult for Carol to remove them. “A sack of lying ——,” is stronger than “liar” and “a fat-bellied pig shoving his way inside of me” is more colorful than, “he’s not a giver,”
Still, Carol has to edit because each applicant is only allowed 700 words or less and her site has to show professionalism in the face of enraged despairing women. The enraged exes are the non-profit side of the business. They get a tax write off for providing a service to other women, the searchers. The women looking for background information, (the searchers), found no luck on Google or any social networking sites and want to know more, pay $500 for a four-month membership. It may seem steep, but think of the time and emotional energy saved in not carrying on further from dating, fornicating or marrying this disturbed individual. The truth will set you free from divorce attorneys.
Many friendships have been forged between the exes and the searchers. Carol knows of five lesbian relationships that have developed. Did she intend to start a matchmaking service? No, but maybe she turned the wheel of fortune for some in a positive way.
Carol’s database has 1,500 names and grows daily. Political figures, financial advisors, religious leaders, and teachers top the charts. The database is filled with well-educated and reportedly handsome men. There are no pictures. The descriptions are more accurate than mega pixels.
Carol initially thought of calling the business, findingdick.com but it became linked to thousands of porn sites. She opted instead for a more mindful title; protectyoursisters.com. She kept the same screen saver on the home web page that she had for findingdick.com. It is a mixed media design of a clothesline that winds from state to state throughout the country with the castrated cocks of all the cheaters hanging by clothespins. Lucy is the graphic artist of the clothesline who is able to cram as many penises into one state as needed. These icons hang like Hollywood stars , name labeled with a dog tag around the scrotum. It is its own memorial. The dicks are geographical, so if you wanted to check out Mike S’s dog tag, you’d have to know where he resides. There is a plethora of penises in the Maryland, Washington, DC. District and NYC is a close second. The clothesline helps women realize just how many unfaithful men exist in the country and that they are not alone in their experience. Carol’s plans going global with the service.
The icon for the software is just one penis hanging off a fishing line. “The dickfish,” as Lucy says.
