I’m quite sure some of you have read about my love life and my new relationship. Well, at nine months, issues have come up. No boundaries, no discretion. He was never committed to either of his wives physically. He was committed to the idea, but not the physical. He is a good person, don’t get me wrong. He is a man. I cannot rely on him for anything. When I do let myself fall just a teeny tiny bit, well, I always have to pick it back up immediately.
Now it’s the “unintentional” things like looking at other women and flirting. Maybe it’s an insecurity or maybe just maybe I am not enough. There’s really no arguing, but we butt heads and disagree. My schedule is always changing. Nothing I do is ever the same. He is bothered by it. Really. And I know it, but he says he’s not. He wanted to dedicate himself to my kids. He has his own kids but my kids are tweenagers. I love my kids. I love him.
On the other side of that, this other man has been on my mind since I first saw him. He is so intelligent and that is what really attracted me to him. We are in the same major right now. And the way he speaks blows my mind. I come home and have to fight with this because my man is not reliable, responsible, accountable, or respectable. So here I am, caught in something I never had to deal with and I want to run. Take my babies and run.