“If I knew you weren’t drinking, I wouldn’t have chosen to meet at a bar,” he commented. “No problem,” I replied. And there you had it, two strangers sitting across from one another already secretly summing-up the other. Or, not so secretly…
HIM: “Do you always wear your cross out like that?” he asked inquisitively from the other side of the table.
I had worn a small gold cross around my neck on and off for years. “Huh?” I mumbled, surprised that those were the first words out of his mouth after the extended silence.
HIM: “Do you always wear your cross out like that?”
ME: “I don’t know…sometimes it’s under my clothes and sometimes it comes out. Why?”
HIM: “Cause my mom is very Jewish and when you meet her I don’t know if she’d like that you’re wearing a cross. When my ex…” I didn’t hear the rest of what he said because my thoughts became so loud in my head they seemed to block out everything else. You’re already thinking about me meeting your mom and what she’d say about my cross! I thought. We just met! And who makes a comment like that! The look on my face must have spoken volumes because my thoughts were interrupted by “Relax..why are you so uptight Ms. Elle? I know your type.”
ME: “Oh, really…what type is that?” I questioned with a slight attitude.
HIM: “You’re an A type personality, your closed off to others. I bet you don’t like people to touch you (his hand slid across the table toward mine. Was he challenging me? He was obviously analyzing me). I bet you don’t like to kiss on the first date either. Am I right?”
Thinking I'd rather have leeches suck blood from my body than be kissed by this “psycho analyzer” I quickly answered, “you’re right. I don’t like to kiss on the first date.” (Truth be told, first date kisses were reserved for special someones – and “psycho analyzer” did not qualify.)
HIM: “Do you have any siblings?” he continued.
ME: “Yes, an older brother and a younger sister.”
HIM: “Married? Single?”
ME: “My sister is in a serious relationship. My brother is married.”
HIM: “Are you jealous of your sister?”
ME: “Jealous why?” I asked with an is-this-guy-for-real kind of look.
HIM: “That she has a boyfriend and you don’t?”
ME: “No….” I looked at him disgusted and disbelieving that that statement just came out of his mouth…
By now 45 minutes had passed and I was determined that I’d be out of there by the hour. I looked at the time on my cell phone. “Well, thanks for the drink,” I started “I have dinner plans tonight so I need to be getting out of here soon.” Fifteen minutes was not soon enough!
Elle’s Note: Stay tuned tomorrow for more of my date with “psycho analyzer”…I don’t know how much more you can take today!
