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Decoding Guy-Speak

  • "My home phone isn't working, so call me on my cell."

    What He Could Mean: "I don't want you calling my house." 
    What You Should Ask: "Are you already in a relationship with someone else?"

  • "You have to be able to ride out these little corrections."

    What He Could Mean: "I lost everything in the stock market." 
    What You Should Ask: "Do you consider yourself a gambler by nature?"

  • "My marriage is essentially over."

    What He Could Mean: "I want to have an affair." 
    What You Should Ask: "Does your wife know this?" "Have you taken formal steps toward divorce?"

  • "Women are too picky."

    What He Could Mean: "Women don't like me."
    What You Should Ask: "Why didn't your last relationships work out?"

  • "I'll have to check my schedule for next Saturday."

    What He Could Mean: "I'm waiting to see if a better offer comes along." 
    What You Should Ask: "Would you rather wait and get together when you're not so busy?"

  • "I'm afraid of commitment."

    What He Could Mean: "I'd like to continue sleeping with you, but not if it means I have to stop seeing other women." 
    What You Should Ask: "Do you want to try and overcome this fear?"

  • "So it's me. I'm calling you."

    What He Could Mean: "I don't particularly want to talk, but I want to get credit for calling." 
    What You Should Ask: "Would you rather talk another time?" or "I get the feeling that you're calling because you think that you should and not because you want to, is that true?"

  • "So my parents are having this barbecue, and I was wondering if you'd like to come."

    What He Could Mean: "I'm madly in love with you." 
    What You Should Ask: "Have you told your parents about us?"

  • "That guy is a big phony."

    What He Could Mean: "I'm totally jealous that you were talking to that tall, handsome man at the party."
    What You Should Ask: "Were you upset that I talked to him for so long?"

  • "It's not you, it's me."

    What He Could Mean: "It's you." 
    What You Should Ask: "Have we been moving too fast?" or "Have you met someone else?"

  • "I'd like to cook you dinner at my place."

    What He Could Mean: "I'd like to dazzle you with what a caring, nurturing renaissance man I am, so that you'll have sex with me." 
    What You Should Ask: "How important is emotional involvement to you prior to being sexual?" 

  • "I need some space."

    What He Could Mean: "I'm about to break up with you" or "I've realized that I'm crazy about you and it's freaking me out." 
    What You Should Ask: Nothing. Give him his space, and let him figure it out.

  • "My children are very important to me, and I need to be with a woman who understands that."

    What He Could Mean: "My children are my first priority." 
    What You Should Ask: "Can you imagine a woman being your top priority while you're still raising your children?"

  • "You're not a feminist, are you?"

    What He Could Mean: "I'm threatened by the fact that you don't act like a complete doormat." 
    What You Should Ask: "Do you have a problem with independent women?"

  • "You remind me of that girl from Sex and the City."

    What He Could Mean: "… and I'm really hoping you share her same liberal attitude about casual sex." 
    What You Should Ask: "What do you think of that character?"

  • "How long ago was your last relationship?"

    What He Could Mean: "Please give me your entire relationship resume, so I can determine if you're a worthy candidate."
    What You Should Ask: "Why is that important to you?"

  • "I just want to be friends."

    What He Could Mean: "I don't find you attractive anymore." 
    What You Should Ask: "Would you kindly remove your stuff from my apartment?"

  • "You look great in that dress."

    What He Could Mean: "The party started half an hour ago, can we please leave already?" 
    What You Should Ask: "Are you just saying that to get me out the door?"

  • How to Date a Guy With Kids

    So, you're dating a guy with kids. You know things are more complicated with children in the picture, but just how complicated are they?


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