“The most beautiful and profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the sower of all true science. The one to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wander and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms.” —Albert Einstein
My life changed forever on the morning of November 14, 2007. I was a guest with my wife Ronit on the Oprah Winfrey Show on ABC, an episode titled, “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told.” After Oprah described my love story with Ronit as “a date with destiny,” I awakened to the realization that the path leading to our destined meeting with Oprah was already scripted deep in me, early in my life. It dawned on me that all my life, I followed interactive signs and synchronicities with intuitive feelings that guided me without full understanding. The signs often signaled to an approaching destined event, and a culmination of interactive situations leading to my destined encounter. It is as if I unconsciously participated in a motion, unaware of the entire script that has shaped my life. Our appearance on Oprah was no different. It was a significant event in our life that was meant to be.
Three years earlier, destiny united me with my wife Ronit. As a seventeen-year-old boy, I saw the newly crowned Miss Israel (Ronit) in a photo in a magazine, and I felt mysteriously connected to her sad, green and blue eyes. Those eyes beckoned to me from afar. Without understanding it, I knew I would connect with her someday. Forty years later, I did.
In retrospect, whenever I interacted with people and situations that led to my destined encounters, I always felt like I was drawn without full clarity to something bigger than myself—like a calling of the divine. Today as a psychologist, a soul mate, and an intimacy communicator, I still wonder what would have become of my life had I ignored destiny’s magic of hidden possibilities, and the power of my dreams.
Looking for Happiness in the Wrong Places
People everywhere around the globe, regardless of their various life situations, yearn to feel happy. They strive every day to find opportunities that will bring them closer to feeling good through achievement, material success, recognition, and love. Ironically, many people feel disconnected from their true feelings: what they ultimately are destined to fulfill as individuals, and as intimate partners. Throughout their lives they continue to crave happiness through the superficiality of ego driven recognition and prestige. Nevertheless, destiny lurks deep inside each one of us, demanding happiness through the full expression of our spirit. Thus, the question remains: if happiness is the most important life purpose, why is it difficult to open ourselves up to the mystery and wonder of destiny?
Destiny Is Inside of Us: The Paradox
To understand this dilemma, we need to first explore the concept of destiny and the destined encounter. Destiny is the ultimate meeting between the fullness of our being and our true purpose. It is inside each one of us. From the time we are born, everything we need to fulfill our lives is built within us, including abundance and happiness. Paradoxically, as we grow and mature, we are encouraged to deny our true self, embracing the egotistical belief that our very essence is tied to material possessions. Ironically, we feel cultural validations define us, as well as the power we falsely believe we can acquire from outer sources—such as accomplishments, recognition, and fame.
We derail our opportunity to encounter destiny when we cannot connect with our soul. We disconnect from a part of us we lost—left vulnerable to the external forces that feed our demanding ego. Yearning for love, as explained by Kathy Freston, is virtually a search to reunite with spirit—with that lost and disconnected part of ourselves, which we always desire. Thus, love entails an individual, as well as a relationship search, to become more complete and whole. Through a soulful bond, love requires us to actualize who we are, rather than who we think we are. Love is a destined encounter with our true self that encompasses the divinity within us.
Destiny Beyond the Shadows
Deepak Chopra and Robert Ohotto stress that our soul is a pure entity within our being, which contains the inscription created for our life. This is the blueprint of our existence. When we learn to listen intuitively to our soul’s whisper, and silently observe the signs and synchronicities of our surroundings, we become conscious of our life’s story and we are further able to fulfill our destiny.
Ironically, at the beginning of our life, we possess a pure life force, and it gradually becomes inhibited by the toxicity of emotions such as: shame, anger, guilt, and doubt. Inevitably we become further inhibited by experiences of childhood traumas and adult distresses. Subsequently, holding back these emotions prevents us from realizing our birth right and our innate potential.
Reaching Destined Encounter
How do we change this human condition, and how do we emancipate ourselves to connect with our life’s purpose? According to Chopra, when we learn to live from the level of our soul, we then are able to recognize that the most luminous part of ourselves connects to the mystery and the rhythm of the universe. Thus, we discover the journey to reach our “destined encounter” within ourself. We increasingly are able to meet our destiny, and live our purpose as individuals and intimate partners. While listening intuitively to our inner voice, and to the surrounding signs and synchronicities, we make it a practice to visualize our dreams and inner wishes. Practicing stillness, and daring to address the shadows that hold us back from our true self, is vital in clearing the way. The shadows within cause us to hibernate through the years, and remain fixated in our comfortable and self-imposed interactions with our significant others, our intimate partner, and the universe. Through an honest discovery via authentic listening and communicating, we address and embrace the wounds, making it possible for the light behind the shadows to emerge. We uncover the gifts that manifest our deepest capacity to be loved and to love.
I would like to invite you, the readers, to connect to times in your life where an experience intrigued and overwhelmed you—an experience you could not explain, but later led to an important event in your life, whether with a situation, a person, or an encounter of any kind.
“We have to trust that seemingly isolated events and hard to rationalize decisions that are like musical notes that eventually form the melody that reveals the divinity of our lives.”
—Ricky and Mary Nurriestearns