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Don't Lose Yourself to Love

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When flowers, smooches, and those infamous ‘three words’ are taking over your world— it’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind. Not saying these things aren’t lovely to have, but it’s important to find a balance. And who are we kidding, our love-oriented brains aren’t easy to train. So do know, it’s not unusual for a new significant other in your life to at first occupy a large chunk of your time and interest. But, once it affects your daily schedule or hobbies is a flaming red flag.

I will make a confession of my own: a handsome man, couch, and Netflix put a major dent in my self-growth and creativity. I became so engrossed in activities that included the both of us, that I easily started doing less for myself. The good thing is— your brain usually kicks you back into gear for the real world. When I picked up my pen to write in my journal one day, nothing came to me, and it made me feel depressing and absent. It was obvious that this was absolutely wrong. I was responsible for pouring myself into snuggling, daydreaming, and who cares what other lovey-dovey mischief. In return, my motivation and sense of self-expression became cloudy.

The two of you should find activities that incorporate both of your interests, or at least take turns. Choose things that stimulate your thoughts, creativity, and conversation. Not only will you find you’re helping yourself as an individual, but also growing as a couple. You might end up surprised how much you didn’t know about each other, or better yet— yourself! By adding in each others interests, talents, and intellect to your time spent together— you’ll fall deeper in love, without losing yourself amidst it.

Take a step back, and now, evaluate the activities you have done in the past two weeks. Oh, all you’ve accomplished is writing mushy journal entries and participating in the endless, flirting textathons? That’s what I thought. Let’s think back to when you were an independent, sassy soul. Don’t lose sight in the things that make you who you are. Whether it be rocking a guitar, reading a book, or going to museums— they are substantial each in their own way. Pick days to do these things alone, and then next time take that special someone along!

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