Does a relationship breakup have you feeling like you’re teetering on a tight rope about to fall off at any moment? A bad relationship slowly chips away at your self-esteem and a bad breakup can destroy it with only a few words. Even once the initial shock subsides, your head can feel so fuzzy that you don’t know where to start to self. We sat down with Brett Blumenthal of Sheer Balance to get her expert tips for helping you find balance in the chaotic aftermath of a relationship breakup.
1. See Yourself as an Individual, Not as Half a Person
While it’s terrifying to let go of the past, you need to detach from your former flame in order to find the person you lost in all that kissing, baby talk and hand holding. YOU! Get out of town for the weekend. You can’t make yourself healthy until you remove yourself from the destructive grasp your ex has on you. Break the spell by starting with your mind. Relationships naturally force you to neglect yourself by sacrificing your likes and making compromises. You’re used to being around your ex all the time so it might be scary to set out on your own, but this alone time will allow you to take a step back to sort out your feelings without falling under someone else’s influence. Then you can discover what’s really important to you in starting the next chapter.
2. Take Small Steps to Make Big Changes
If you’ve neglected your own well being in a bad relationship, taking a step by step approach to better yourself mentally and physically is key. When you’re feeling down and everything seems out of place it can be overwhelming to figure out where to start. The first step is to make a list of everything you want to change. Then you can prioritize which goals are most important to you. By making this list it will become clear to you how to go about making these changes. Break down each goal into pieces that aren’t so intimidating. By taking small steps you can actually tackle multiple goals at once. If you try to make a big change overnight, you’re most likely going to fail which will only discourage you from trying again. Allow yourself the time to make these changes.
3. Accept That You’re Going to Slip Up
Of course you’re going to be hard on yourself when trying to make positive changes in your life. But if you acknowledge in advance that you’re going to experience setbacks, you can keep them from really getting to you. It’s okay to take a step back as long as you then take two or three forward. One step back isn’t a big deal if you can catch yourself before it multiplies so don’t let it throw you completely off course.
4. Seduce Yourself
It sounds cliché, but when you love yourself and you’re secure as an individual you’re more likely to have a healthier, happier relationship. Consider being single as dating yourself. Your top priority becomes making yourself happy. This shouldn’t change when you dive into your next relationship. Make sure your new flame takes care of you the way you take care of yourself. If they don’t live up to your standards, recognize this as a red flag.
5. Think Ahead to the Next Chapter
You have the ability to write it any way you want. Even when a relationship is bad, we tend to want it to work so we give up parts of ourselves. This is your chance to rediscover what defines you and what you want in a future partner. It’s crucial to not lose sight of those interests when you start dating again. If you get so caught up that you neglect friends, family and hobbies, it causes your world to spin out of control when it ends. Always carve time for yourself to nurture these relationships and talents separate from your partner. That’s what’s going to carry you through, no matter what happens in your love life.
If you’re struggling to prioritize which area of your life to tackle first, check out Blumenthal’s Wellness Assessment. This survey forces you to be honest with yourself about your goals and what steps you’re currently taking to reach them. You then have the option to enlist Blumenthal’s help in creating a game plan to become a happier you.
How are you bouncing back from a painful relationship breakup?
By Morgan Vines for BounceBack