Finding My Prince Charming

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Being in my in my early forties (very early), I decided to give the online dating sites a try. I didn’t jump in with a graceful dive but more like a belly flop. I joined every site I found from Singlesnet to eHarmony, until my total was ten. I know it sounds sad, but I stopped at ten. I went on what seemed like a thousand first dates’ with no luck of finding a man worthy of a second anywhere in the vicinity. I was shocked, I had read success stories of someone finding their ‘soul mate’ on every site I had joined. Ater a year of having no luck at all, I got fed up and one by one cancelled every one of my memberships. I had never had a problem in the past getting a date, but with re-enrolling in school to finish my degree in business, and working full time I barely had time to sleep, let alone ‘cruise the scene’. I had liked the idea that I could ask all the questions the profiles I read either didn’t mention, and was able to ask the ‘prospect’ to elaborate on an answer to a question he’d stated in his profile. The day I was on my mission to cancel evey site, the very last one I was to ‘delete’ had a message. Well, my curiosity got the best of me and I opened his message. He was a single thirty-nine-year-old father of twin boys. Ok, girls, correct me if I’m wrong, but I was impressed that not only was he a single father taking care of his responsibility, but that he had done it with twins!  

I felt this strong need to know more. I don’t have any children of my own, yet I have friends that are doing it alone with one and struggling. My interest was sparked and my nagging wonder forced me to investigate the man behind the message. I sent him a response back and waited. Three days later he replied. He introduced himself and left me a phone number telling me that he’d perferred to chat away from the site and that in his ‘opinion’ he could get a better ‘feel’ for a person through live conversation. If I hadn’t been sitting down when I read that part of the email, I would have fallen down. That was the exact way I  had described how I wanted to get to know a date before commiting to meeting in person. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m a firm believer if you have a great conversation on the phone, it would be the same in person. In his email he had even mentioned if I wanted to block my number the first time I called he’d "completely understand." I didn’t reply back right away. I waited the same three days until I called him; patience was never a strong virtue for me but I bit the bullet and waited. I called him on a Tuesday after work about 7:00 p.m. I did not get off the phone with him until after midnight. I had learned more about ‘DJ’ in the five hours of conversation than I knew about my ex-boyfriend of eight years. Niether one of us wanted to end the call but both of us had obligations early the next day. Before I hung up, he asked if I was comfortable enough to give him my number (I blocked it when I called; he said I could!) I gave him my home and cell numbers. He said goodnight and promised to call the next evening at about the same time. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I hoped he would. I couldn’t stop myself from being ‘smitten by him’. He was so down-to-earth and easy to talk to. I was not as forth coming as he was, but it was hard for me not to be. He had intrigued me; he had spoken about his twin boys with such love. I thought I could actually hear him smile through the phone. The next day he called ten minutes before 7:00 p.m. and we spent another four hours on the phone.

I had become completely taken with him. He had a photo on his profile; I didn’t. Another reason he sparked my interest. Most profiles without photos get almost no response. He asked before hanging up the second time we spoke if I could send him a photo. I told him I would. I had described myself to him on the phone, so he had a general idea of what I looked like. Before our goodbyes, he said "you know the saying a picture is worth a thousand words? let’s see if that applies." That night before I went to bed, I sent him one. Crossing my fingers he’d approve, I went to bed. I checked my email before work the next day and he’d sent a not a thousand words, but a single word reply to my photo. Beautiful. We met in person a week later, he brought flowers and 2 bottles of Merlot. (Don’t get that when you meet a man in a bar, do you?) A week after meeting him, I got to meet his twins. I fell in love. They are wonderful young men with manners and respect. Both are very intelligent and responsible. After a few weeks, DJ told me they had told him I was ‘a keeper’ and asked him if he would ask me if it was ok for them to have my cell  number so they could talk to me when I wasn’t visiting. I could have cried. I’m not a wuss in any way, but it amazed me that his children had reached out to me in such an intimate way. DJ turned out to be everything I hoped he’d be. I now get two calls evey night: one from DJ and one from the twins. Before long, the conversations with both ended in " I love yous and I miss yous" I’m happy to say in a few months we are going to be under the same roof. We live forty-five mins apart and we both decided it was time. After all the failed dates, I finally found my Prince Charming.

It doesn’t work out for everyone on the online dating scene, but if this taught me anything, it’s to never give up on trying to find our own happy ending, even though I almost ‘deleted’ mine. I’m aware that there are some hellish outcomes to finding someone online, but with patience and time, I sincerely hope everyone in search of someone to love finds their happy ending.



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