We all learned fairly early on what compliments to give other women.
“That dress is gorgeous!”
“Have you lost weight?”
“Congrats on the job, you’re such an inspiration.”
“Have you lost weight?”
“Those shoes are fantastic!”
“Are you sure you haven’t you lost weight?”
But when it comes to stroking a man’s (not so fast, lusty ladies) ego, what will really make him melt? Hint: it’s not his hair … unless he was on the receiving end of a Rogaine miracle.
Here are the top five qualities men really love to be complimented on:
1. His Smile/His Laugh
This was by far the most common answer from all the men we surveyed. Guys want reassurance that they make you happy and there’s no better way to do that than by flattering their goofy grins and contagious laughs.
“Hearing how much someone loves my laugh, or my smile, or how funny they find me, these make my self-esteem swell, which is not to be undervalued because of my daily need for embarrassingly large doses of affirmation,” one guy told BettyConfidential.com
2. His Skills on the Playing Field … or the Game Screen
Men are action-oriented creatures. Sitting down for a relationship “talk” is absolute torture for most guys, yet running around shooting paint at high velocity in attempt to cause pain and embarrassment is their idea of bliss. It may never add up to us, but we still need to praise their equation for fun.
Home in on a man’s hobby and find a very specific physical skill that warrants a compliment. Remember to be specific. Be. Specific. It’s not enough to say, “You’re so good at golf, honey.” Instead, compliment his chip shot … or you know, the length of his driver.
And don’t worry about whether his hobby is an officially sanctioned sport. I know several men who blush with glee when I mention how talented they are at picking players for Fantasy Baseball.
“I like being complimented on my Galaga skills, but maybe that’s just me,” one respondent said, proving that even 1980s-space ship-alien-arcade-game lovers need warm fuzzies.
3. His Doubts
Men try to put on a brave face and hide their inner fears, but just like us, guys come equipped with plenty of insecurities. So be a sweet self-esteem coach and prop him up on those touchy issues.
“The things I most like to be complimented on are my shoulders, my voice, my ‘junk,’ my smile and my intelligence,” one very honest man told Betty. “They’re all the things I’m most insecure about. Okay, I’m not insecure about my junk, it’s great. But definitely my shoulders voice, and smile.”
4. His Dog, His Computer, His Desk (Just Not Him Directly)
Men aren’t as used to getting compliments as we are. So sometimes it’s better to ease into the kudos. (Or, kados, if you’re a Real Housewife of NYC). Select an indirect object of flattery rather than a direct target of adoration. Let the gentleman connect the dots and project that praise onto himself.
“I like to hear someone I’m into tell me that my dog is sweet and good-looking and then pet him vigorously as though they were actually saying those words to me.”
5. His Sexy Anatomy
Let’s face it, complimenting men on their—shall we say, equipment—is always going to score you a home run. Here’s a selection of (slightly NSFW) all-time favorite compliments the men we interviewed have ever received:
“You are huge.”
“I just get so wet when I’m around you. Here, feel.”
“I’ve never had an orgasm without sex before.”
As one guys tells us: “Sex-related compliments are some of the absolute best to receive.”
Got that? Don’t be bashful Betty’s, give your man’s ego a good stroke! Or, you can always compliment his quirkiness.
“I need to know that what makes me weird is embraced and celebrated by my lady,” one of our respondents explained.
So here’s to men. We salute you—and your weirdness!
By Carrie Seim of BettyConfidential