I lived with a frozen heart for years and years, and I didn’t even know it. All I knew is that I was achingly lonely … even and most poignantly when I was in relationships.
For most of my life, I attracted the worst from the men in my life. Whether it was rudeness, lewdness, cruelty, or sarcasm, each and every man hurt me in some way. At least that is what I always thought. That is until I found something that changed everything for me.
At fifty-seven and married to my second soul mate, I still have my lonely moments and occasionally feel myself going back to old patterns of thinking. Thoughts like “Here we go again, I knew I would get hurt.” Or, “He isn’t even trying to understand, what’s the point?” Or, “We are losing our connection, just like before … what if he isn’t the one.”
Yes, nearly five years into my fantastic marriage, thoughts still pop into my head, uninvited, that shake my security. What is different now is that I have specific tools I use to stop thinking scared thoughts before they take on a life of their own. When I catch myself early enough, I can switch it around pretty quickly and stay in the flow of delicious well-being.
I see that I have the power to attract Larry’s highest and best and that is where I can put my confidence in our love and keeping us together. In my first marriage, I had such low regard for myself; I constantly attracted the lowest and least healthy of my man’s thoughts, habits, and behavior.
Where are you in all of this? Do you attract honor and respect from the men in your life? Run an internal survey. List all the men you have regular contact with and see how you feel reflecting on each one. If you are as I used to be, walking around with a slowly thawing heart inside, you may notice a theme of sarcasm or criticism in men within your inner circle. Be curious about the patterns you see.
Since I started using these tools, my own love vibration has been turned on its ear. Not only did I bring in a man who was attracted to me a whole year before I knew it (a story I tell at a different time), I am still using these simple truths to keep growing my confidence as a wife and partner. If I can do this, so can you.