Recently I held a discussion and book signing at the Hopkinton public library in Hopkinton MA. During the question-and-answer segment of our discussion, one of the participants, the only person present with MS, asked a question beginning with the statement; “I’m amazed, and excited to know that after all that you have been through, you are now remarried. How did that happen, because as you said you are worse physically today than during your first marriage? And, what changed, I mean what was the turning point that allowed you to move forward and get remarried?”
Of course, I knew exactly what she meant, because at one time I had the very same concern with which she was referring. At the point that my wife first wanted to divorce, I had an inner dialogue that went something like this: Okay Chris, you have what is now becoming severe MS, who’s going to want to marry someone with MS? No one is going to want to marry damaged goods. I am sure that I was not the first one to ever have this inner dialogue. It’s a real fear.
I met my then wife to be, Jane, through an online dating service and she was totally aware of my disability. After we had gone on our first date I remember asking her, why would anyone get involved with damaged goods? Why would anyone purchase a vase with a crack in the bottom? Jane’s response was “maybe, I need one to hold my dried flowers.” All she wanted was “kindness and love” no anger, just kindness and love. It helps that we both have the same goofy sense of humor. We laugh and laugh together and at one another all the time. Sure, I have slipped ups, get frustrated and angry, the difference is that I have written, re-written, read and re-read. My book so many times that when I do begin to slip-up it’s so obvious that I can’t help but catch myself. And let’s not forget, Jane has read the book so when I slip up she’s quick to point out “Chris, I think you need to revisit page fifty-two “and we have a good chuckle. Remember life is too short, you choose whether to smile or argue. We were married a year later and life is fantastic. Jane is the most wonderful, loving and caring person that I have ever known. If I had listened to my inner dialogue, I would never have met my wife, Jane, the woman of my dreams. Never give up.
Be well and God bless,
A book review has been posted at MS world.org visit the link below by cutting and pasting the link into your browser: http://www.msworld.org/html/lifeinterrupted_Tatevosian.htm and when you click on the book cover or the Amazon link at the end, it links to Amazon to order your book and Amazon.com will donate 5 to 15 percent to MSworld.org