There are times in life when being alone feels liberating. There are times in life when being alone feels right. And then there are those moments when being alone feels, well … lonely. Thunderstorms have a committed relationship with the Atlanta skyline during the hot and humid summer months. The bulging, billowing clouds grow and mold with anticipation until they burst with large droplets of relief to the ever so thankful ground.
I watched last night as a thunderstorm enveloped my community and found myself wishing I had someone to enjoy it with. Don’t get me wrong; my wheaten terrier, Fin, sat at my side during the entire experience, looking to me for reassurance. The wind howled and the trees offered up the underbellies of their vulnerable leaves, like a peace offering to the towering gods of the sky.
I wish he was here.
I’m not entirely sure I know who HE is—perhaps someone I have loved, perhaps a man I haven’t met yet, quite possibly a combination of the two. As I sat and watched Mother Nature’s light show, I found myself in negotiation with the heavens. For what exactly, I’m not completely sure, but as luck would have it, I got a knock on my door just shy of an hour later.
Andy. His kelly green t-shirt brings out the hunter hue of his deep-set eyes. Or are they blue? Let’s just say he has noticeably attractive eyes. The kind that show true intention. The kind that sparkle when they are looking at something they desire. Andy is rather reserved. Or is he shy? At any rate, he seems to take up a smaller amount of space in a room than a man of his size should. He comes in to my apartment and sits on my couch, making sure not to lean back or make himself too comfortable.
We chat about his childhood growing up on a farm. We share our college experiences. I tug at my shirt, overly self-conscious about not wearing a bra. He notices and makes an effort to look away. Fin rubs against his leg, asking to be acknowledged and petted. Andy silently agrees and scratches Fin’s ears and belly. He is kind. His softness neither takes away from his masculinity or his strength. I enjoy our quiet conversation until his introverted nature awakens and pulls him towards my door. As we say goodnight, I hear the soft rumble of distant thunder that reminds me of my earlier plea to the universe. I do what is necessary to mask my next thought and what feels like an inner smile. “Ask and you shall receive.”