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Honeymooning with Your Husband and Your Ex?! Say What?!

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Ex: I was in a relationship for 3-4 years with a guy that did not end well. He said he wanted to marry me but when I found out he was pursuing a relationship with another woman on the side too, I ended the relationship and insisted he move out of my house (thanks to the advice I received on DivineCaroline in fact!). I was devastated that he would be able to lie and trick me like he did. I lost confidence in my ability to read people, I became very insecure and was a mess for almost a year. Looking back I think the ego bust hurt more than anything. The ending of this relationship was also extremely beneficial for me because it led me down an entirely new path of self-growth and freedom. This person has since done the same thing to a few other women and it is clear that it is a pattern.

Fast Forward: I have been married to my husband for almost a year now. While it may sound strange, I believe my soul found him for a reason and I hope that we will be reunited in many lives to come! When we were married we did not take a honeymoon because of work and the fact that our destination wedding in Colorado was a honeymoon in and of itself. That said, we finally made plans for a "honeymoon" of sorts. The plan is to go to the islands with some close friends (and their kids) on a surfing adventure.

The Question: I was just told by the people we are going on the trip with that my Ex wants to come and bring his new girlfriend. My friends are okay with it if I am okay with it. My husband said he would be okay with it. I just can't get over the fact that the whole thing sounds a little strange.

I do not have any feelings for this person. Over the years the Ex has reached out – wishing us a happy wedding, wishing me happy birthday, etc. I would not say he is a BAD person, I just think he is capable of being dishonest and that is not someone I would choose to have as a friend. That said, maybe having him there would allow me to put all of this to rest and it would be a chance for me to demonstrate a deep ability to forgive and forget. I also feel bad for him slightly because it is suspected that he might be gay and his many girlfriends are an act to prevent people from finding him out (this is merely a suspicion held by many of his close friends). Lastly, and most importantly, my husband is an amazing, confident man. While I do think he would be okay with it, I can't help but think that I would NOT be okay with it in the reverse (if we were going on a trip/honeymoon with his Ex).

Thank you in advance for your support and thoughts…

love,
elle

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