Every healthy relationship with others begins with a healthy relationship with yourself. Failure to love and honor yourself leads to your own sense of self being lost, your personal power depleted, and your peace of mind and security determined by the actions of others. This leaves you feeling victimized, out of control, reactive, and insecure.
Allowing this slippery slope to occur in your relationships sets you up for disappointment, and the relationship either becomes painfully dysfunctional, or dies a slow and agonizing death. In the end you are left feeling lost, abandoned, and confused, and your self-esteem plummets to an all-time low.
To avoid this relationship pitfall, a healthy relationship requires you to honor you, and to constantly evaluate and reevaluate who you are and who you are not in the relationship. Redefine your relationships and recognize them as incredible opportunities to grow and evolve to higher and higher levels of self-awareness. Set appropriate boundaries, learn to say no if something feels uncomfortable and does not honor you, and spend time alone, cultivating the most important relationship you will ever really have—the one you have with yourself. Doing so sets your feet on firmer ground, allowing you to be more centered and balanced in your relationship, and less needy, clingy, and dependent.
Making these choices, consciously, increases your feelings of personal power, which will also be felt in other areas of your life. Conscious and healthy choices raise your self-esteem, and cultivate and nourishes a sense of inner security that is unaffected by the actions of others.
Keep a strong network of friends, continue to grow as an individual both outside of and inside of the relationship, speak your truth and practice deep listening. When we see relationships as the opportunity for personal growth that they really are, we can avoid devaluing ourselves by making somebody else the center of our world. Allow your self to be self-centered—not in a selfish, egotistical way, but in a self-full and self-loving way. Being centered in your self and coming from love within is also honoring and loving others. Because it allows you to be more grounded, secure, honest, and real. Respecting your self requires others to respect you. Strive to discover and become your authentic self in all of your relationships and they will become enjoyable, enduring, and deep.