How to Attract Men, According to Folklore
Concoct a Love Potion
If you have starfish, dried human marrow, or menstrual blood laying around, you can whip up a love potion just like the ancient Romans once did. The Romans were very open sexually and frequently sought out sexual encounters. Love potions were sold openly on the streets and were consistently in high demand. The idea behind the potions was that upon drinking them, you would attract the love of your life. Stomaching period blood for love? Thanks, but we’re not that desperate.
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Drug Your Date
As a legendary historical figure whose sexual appetite brought entire empires to the verge of collapse, Cleopatra had a bundle of tricks up her sleeve when it came to seducing men. While she specialized in scents and perfumes, the queen used another, more rapey, technique which entailed drugging her prospective lovers with opium. Clearly this method would not fly today, unless you wanted to be convicted of date rape that is.
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Take Shots of Goldschläger
For the well-to-do, mixing a little powdered gold into a drink was the golden ticket for finding love. Alchemists sold a beverage known as “potable gold” that was to be taken daily right before bedtime. Looking to try this tactic? Pick up a bottle of Goldschläger. It's not quite as lavish, but it contains alcohol, which means a decrease in inhibition and plenty of bad decisions.
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Make an Almond, Pine Tree, and Honey Brew
In the 15th century, a Muslim man named Sheikh Nefzawi wrote an Arabic-Islamic sex manual called The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight, which included tactics on how to attract a mate. Interest in the book has not waned over the decades and has been translated four times. One method of attraction detailed in the book instructed hopefuls to eat precisely 20 almonds and 100 grains of pulverized pine tree combined with thick honey before bedtime. I munch on almonds all day at work and I put honey in my tea all the time, but I don’t see men lining up outside the office to score a date with me. Must need the pine tree. Where does one acquire pine tree grain in bulk?
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Eat Only the Green M&M’s
Rumors of the green M&M’s special love-inducing powers have been circulating since the '70s. Where it originated nobody knows, but even perm-rocking early '80s band Van Halen played into the myth, adding a clause to his contract to have three pounds of green M&M'S backstage. For Valentine’s Day in 2008, all-green bags of M&M’s hit the shelves, marketing green to be “the new color of love.” It’s worth a shot thought, right? Next time you’re at the movies, hoard the M&M’s bag and pick out all the green ones while puffing out your chest and tell us how that goes; we’re very curious.
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Bake a Pumpkin Pie
Is this tasty Thanksgiving staple the new little black dress? Apparently men dig the smell, according to scientists with too much time on their hands. We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but before you run out to snatch up a pie of your own, you should know that other scientists (with slightly less time on their hands) proved that smells can’t make the opposite sex fall in love with you.
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Use Vanilla Extract as Perfume
When she’s not starring in a show about giving hand jobs for cash or promoting herself as a Vagazzling enthusiast, she’s giving dating advice. The obvious authority on relationships and author of The Day I Shot Cupid, recently shared how she attracts men. No, it’s not wearing a skimpy dress or tweeting crushes in a baby-like voice. She applies a baking product on her skin. She told Us Weekly, “I carry McCormick’s Pure Vanilla Extract—the baking kind—and dab it on my neck. Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, ‘You smell amazing!’”
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Keep Rotting Fruit in Your Purse (or Not)
Eureka!—Rotting fruit is a scientifically proven aphrodisiac! The answer has been right in our garbage bins the whole time! This is actually guaranteed to work—on fruit flies that is. The scent works by triggering pathways in the brains of male fruit flies, which encourages them to put on courtship displays. Sure, there's no proof that leaving overripe bananas in your purse works on attracting male humans, but if they can find the answer for flies, they can find the answer for us!
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