How Do I Start Over?

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How do I start over? That is the perfect question to ask when you have nothing left to give in a dead-end relationship. Especially when the relationship is all about physical and non-physical sex. Yes I said it sex. How can you put out physically but not emotionally? When did your so called perfect relationship go downhill? Can you start over as a pregnant woman? Can you really get someone to fall in love with you all over again. Then that funny question comes along, HOW DO I START OVER?

You have one kid and another on the way. Your relationship is in shambles, and you don’t know if letting someone in your broken circle is okay. I wish that I could find that person again. The person that you once loved probably loved someone else, and you can’t even do anything about it. He only wants you to have sex and fulfill his every fantasy. Why am I not good enough for a relationship? Five years of love goes down the drain. How do I start over? . . .is all you keep asking.

This is an insight in my life. I don’t really know what I did to the man I love, except ask that he have my back when I got pregnant with our son. I just asked for support and he just walked away. It’s like our relationship was a lie. What am I supposed to do, now that he isn’t around? He calls me once so he doesn’t have to talk to me anymore for the rest of the day. Then I look in the mirror with tears rolling down my face asking, what did I do to deserve this? When did I ask to be punished for not getting an abortion?

Again I ask, when can I move on? Do I ever move on now that I am nineteen with two kids? What do I do?


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