How Do You Deal with Being Stalked and Harassed?

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My whole life has been pretty drama free. I have never been one to enter into one crisis after the next. Enter, having to deal with my husband’s ex—and the drama was put on full force (I have written about it in a previous article). They haven’t been together for nearly ten years, they have no children, and there is absolutely no connection between the two of them any longer. Yet, we found ourselves being the victims of her constant stalking and harassing. We lived over two hours away from this woman, yet imagine our surprise when we walked out of house one afternoon and she was driving by and filming us all the while yelling obscenities. Then, come to find out, she was driving by our house all the while her sister laid on her death bed in our hometown. I don’t know about you, but if my sister lay dying, the last place I would want to be is stalking my ex husband and his wife.

Then, there were the phone calls—to my workplace, my husband’s workplace, and our to our home in the middle of the night. We took out a restraining order, but this didn’t stop the calls or the driving by our home. Each time she would drive the two-and-a-half hours to our house to drive by we would have to make a police report so that our civil restraining order would remain intact. She even had a friend of hers pose as a pizza delivery guy to try and gain access to our house when he came to deliver a “fictitious” pizza to our home.

So, what did we do—we moved. Far away. And yet, she has attempted to track us down. She sent threatening emails, she even drove well over 1,800 miles (across the country) to try to find out where we had moved to. So, we had to get another restraining order to keep her away from us.

We ignore the phone calls, we block emails, we block our Facebook and MySpace accounts—and yet she continues. In fact, she has found the articles I have written (and I write under a screen name and not my own) and has decided to try to communicate through her comments on the posts either under her own name or someone else’s.

What I can’t understand is why? After nearly ten years of not being with someone—why the interest? Why the connection? Why the continued stalking? There is nothing that connects them together—they have no ties and no reasons to communicate—yet she goes out of her way to try to track us down.

My husband has told me that she thrives on drama—that she spent months and months out of her life tracking down an attorney who lived in another part of the country to cause grief and strife in the woman’s life. Her reasoning—the ex’s favorite band Journey paid more attention to this woman backstage at a concert than they did to her. So, she proceeded to make this poor woman’s life miserable. Over what? A band who only met with them because they purchased back stage passes—a band who has no idea who either of these women are—and who don’t care.

So, any suggestions out there? Any ways of dealing with this type of behavior? Clearly, she is unstable—and clearly she ignores any court orders. I’m welcoming any suggestions and helpful hints. We’ve tried ignoring her and hoping she would just move on.


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