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How to Handle the Not-So-Great Men

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There are Great Men and there are No-So-Great Men.


My Daddy used to say, “Cherry, half the men out there aren’t worth killing.” (Encouraging, isn’t it?) Daddy was a corporate lawyer—and a Great Man. But he dealt with many Not-So-Great men throughout his life, and he wasn’t afraid to tell you about it.


Just as I’m about to tell you …


As a woman looking for love, you must deal with many Not-So-Great Men while looking for your Great Man.


(But you already knew that—see, nothing gets by you!)


You know exactly who they are.


You can recognize them in an instant.


So knowing a Not-So-Great Man is not the problem…


The problem is What in God’s name do you do with them?


Two examples of Not-So-Great Men are: The “Nice Guy But …” and the “Rogue.”


1. The “Nice Guy But … ”
You know this guy very well.


He’s the guy you meet in the coffee shop or at the gym or your friend sets you up with.


And he’s nice. There’s nothing wrong with him. But there’s no magic either. He’s just okay.


He’s a Not-So-Great Man for You.


You go out a couple of times and you know he’s feeling the “mojo,” but you’re not. And he wants to kiss you and you’re like … yuck.


You don’t want to hurt him. Or lead him on. After all he’s a NGB.


So what do you do?


You tell him “see ya” respectfully. You leave him in as good a place as you found him. You thank him for everything he’s given you.


And you wish him well.


No man deserves to be clobbered for being the “Nice Guy But … ”




2. The Rogue
You LOVE this guy!

This guy is a charmer and he’s smooth. And he looks good. And he says all the right things. (At first.)


And he (calls, texts, e-mails) you and you’re pleased. And you start to like him.


Because he’s sooooo funny and sooooo sexy.


But he’s sooooo broke.


And that’s when you start to give to “poor him.”


You make him dinner. Or invite him over for a movie. Or have sex too soon.


And then you pay. (Dearly.)


You can’t stop thinking about him. And wanting him. And feeling bad about yourself. Because he’s gone.


Ladies, this is a Not-So-Great guy.


So what do you do?


You say “No.”


“No” to sex. “No” to calling him to see if he’s okay. “No” to having him over … for ANYTHING!


Until you get what YOU want and need first. Period.


The challenge with the Rogue is that he’s sooooo great and sooooo charming. And you believe every sweet word he says (in the beginning).


So he’s really tough to say “No” to.


But in the end, you’ll be happy you did.

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