How to Navigate Through Divorce with Confidence and the Right Guide

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Has the thought or process of divorce shattered your confidence? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the unknown? How do you regain your confidence and develop the resilience that you need to move forward? The key thing to remember is not to go it alone.

Divorce is an emotionally and physically draining process that can significantly alter a person’s attitude, behavior and overall health. Whether it is the emotional turmoil or the grueling process, it can destroy your ability to make good decisions and result in you losing focus of what is important. A big business in the United States, divorce is a $28 billion-a-year industry with an average cost of about $20,000 according to, a Web site geared toward divorce and remarriage. This combination makes divorce perhaps the single biggest personal and financial decision that you will make.

In the storm of divorce, everything changes all at once; finances, family structure, relationships with other family members, friends, your health, your lifestyle, and parenting – just to name a few. In addition we are faced with unending decisions, starting with choosing the best way to divorce and choosing the right attorney. Within this overwhelming situation, it is important to retain your focus and reach out to find the people and resources that will help to guide you through the twists and turns. A divorce management coach is someone who can provide guidance and support, help you to explore all of your options, and assist you in developing a smart action plan to manage the chaos.

The job of a divorce management coach is to provide you with the right skills, strategies and resources to ensure your emotional, physical, legal and financial needs are being met. Working with a divorce coach helps you to take a step back and observe what is really going on in the situation, rather than getting tangled up in the emotional roller coaster. Our thoughts, beliefs and emotions are all intertwined, but they are separate and can be adjusted independently to change our view of what is happening and therefore what options we have.

Understanding that each person’s situation is unique, a coach will help you to develop and prioritize your short and long-term goals, gain clarity, and take effective actions that will help you moving forward through divorce and towards your new future. Having survived divorce herself, Divorce Management Coach Nancy Kay, feels strongly that when provided with knowledge and the right resources individuals are able to “increase their inner resilience, gain confidence and begin negotiating more effectively for the outcome that they want”. Working together with a coach to shift your perspective, reframe what is happening, change your reaction from resistance to response, and allow yourself to take some responsibility for what is going on allows you to have some control over the situation. Nancy stresses that “navigating through divorce requires you to fully understand all of your options and learn skills and strategies for negotiating and setting boundaries to avoid unnecessary conflicts”.

“Divorce is managed; it is not cured,” says Nancy. It is important to recognize that there are resources and people who can guide you from contemplating divorce through figuring out effective strategies to use for long-term co-parenting and communication issues. Starting the divorce off in the right way usually leads to better results in the end, emotionally and financially. Nancy adds, “Making smart decisions from the beginning often helps my clients to save time, money and avoid many of the pitfalls that come from lack of knowledge about the divorce process.”

This article was written by Nancy Kay. To get more great advice from Women's Toolbox Media Diva Nancy Kay, visit her website at:


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