With Valentine’s Day approaching, it’s time to talk about dry spells.
We recently heard from the single mom of two teenagers about what she refers to as her latest “dry spell.” Her dating life has been up and (mostly) down since her divorce a few years ago. Things didn’t work out with her last boyfriend after she found out that he’d been seeing someone else behind her back. She hasn’t had sex for a few months now. Wait a second, it has been more like six months. Or longer.
“I feel affection-starved,” she says. Her online dating efforts have fizzled. And no one is offering to fix her up. And the batteries on her “buzzy” toy are running out. Yeah, you get it. Besides that, “Buzzy” is supposed to be a toy—not a way of life.
So, now what?
Unfortunately, her friends haven’t exactly been empathetic. And they’re also giving lots of conflicting advice. Her “crafty” girlfriend, for instance, tells her that getting more creative (as in hot glue crafts) is the best way to cope with a stalled sex life. (This single mom doesn’t think so!)
Another posse member is a gym rat who works out constantly. Our single mom envies her friend’s rock hard body. But feels like all that treadmill time is just her girlfriend’s way of running away from her loneliness. On the other hand, maybe more physical activity could help scratch that dry spell itch?
Her BFF told her straight out that she needs to get out there. This friend is heavy into the bar scene. Sports bars do not intimidate her. She’s happy to make this single mom friend her “wing man.” This friend urges her to get a “F-buddy” or enjoy a one night stand. These options feel like a bit much. Or maybe this is just what she needs?
We all know more about this dilemma than we like to admit.
Is the answer filling her time with craft projects? Or getting serious at the gym?
Maybe she does need to get out there a bit past her comfort zone?
We’d love to know … what’s your strategy when a dry spell drags you down?
Originally published on SingleMommyHood