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From Hurt to Flirt

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When my husband of twenty years left me, I was stunned. I didn’t see it coming. After crying in a fetal position for a week, I had a talk with myself. I decided I was going to see if I could turn around the situation into something positive. I had a knack for doing so in other situations, but none quite as debilitating. I began to see if I could find the gift in this life-changing surprise. 


I thought “What could be the opposite of ‘My life is over?’” How about “He has released me to explore the untethered life as a single women.” It took me a month to say it without laughing. 


At first the thought of being middle-aged and overweight terrified me. Who would possibly think I was attractive enough to date? But I began chanting my mantra to myself daily. I began to flirt with men of all shapes, sizes and ages, straight, gay, married, single. It was fun! 


Soon men were initiating the flirting. I became more playful and had a lot of fun. I began to see I could be attractive—at least attractive enough for someone to flirt with. I began having the life of my mantra—I was living the untethered life of a single woman and having a blast doing it. 


What are you saying to yourself about dating that is negative: “The only men I meet are losers.” Or “All the good men are gay or married.” Or “I’ll never find my soul mate.” 


See how you can change it around to be inspiring: “The men I meet are extraordinary, successful, kind and caring.” “There are abundant good, straight men longing to meet a good woman like me.” “My soul mate is just around the corner and is looking for me as hard as I’m looking for him.” The more you chant your mantra, the more quickly it will come true!


This is an except from Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?

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