Never Say Never …
What would you do if your man cheated on you? I was famous for saying things like, “Oh, my man would never treat me in such a way,” or “I would never deal with that kind of bullshit.” How foolish of me to make such grand statements. The truth is, there is no way to be certain of what another person is capable of and or what circumstances may arise to cause a person to react out of character. What will be, will be.
Experience is a good teacher, though it stands to reason that we would like to believe we are in an infallible relationship or that we would be “smart” enough to walk away if an uncomfortable situation were to present itself. But love tends to get in the way of things, including our God-given common sense. I have tolerated far more than I ever thought I would in the name of love. My pride has been kicked to the side several times for the sake of holding onto my family. I fought long and hard to be with my man, and I have earned everything good he has to give. My thought process may seem anti-femme, but the truth is there are several strong women who have stood by their men in the face of pain, change, and adversity.
There have been many a time I have looked at the TV screen or picked up a magazine and become instantly freed of my feelings of lonely stupidity … like when Hilary stood by her man, or when Vanessa, complete with a brand new rock, clung to Kobe during the allegations of an alleged rape. Oh, and let us not forget Frank and Kathy Lee Gifford, The Beckhams, Whitney and Bobby … (Okay, they didn’t work out—but still, you get me, right?) I digress. Believing in the good intentions of another and lending your heart in the act of love is a beautiful thing, but would you really give it all up—family, status, reputation, and financial security—due to an imperfect libido? As you’ve read in these pages, some have adopted diverse coping mechanisms for dealing with such things. So, honestly … in your opinion, what defines a marriage? Is your love based on more than “physical” faithfulness?