I woke up to this morning feeling gloomy and insecure. This downhearted state of mind continued even after I ordered myself not to let it be. At times, no matter how rosy your life is, everything seems to be topsy-turvy. That’s exactly how I felt, and I found it galling to even think how contrasting my life had become. I felt as if I were a part of a bad, bad world. Deep down, I knew this was true, which made me feel grim. It relates to the incident I witnessed last evening … a story I took part in.
“Hi, I am Mrs. Cathy Jones. I am here on a project for two weeks.” She seemed to be a genuinely adorable person. Trusting everyone was my weakness, and as usual, I was just being myself.
“So how was your day one? How did you like the place?” I said.
“Ah, it’s been quite hectic! The place is really good, and the people are warm,” she said, looking at Zen and rest of us. And then started the usual conversation between two people meeting for the first time. Likes, politics, crush, managers, global warming—we covered it all! Our chirping had to end just when we reached our friends place.
We sat around the table and started to gossip all over again. Topic wasn’t a constraint, as everyone had something to say, and a perspective to share. My spontaneity came to an end, when something caught my attention—something strange, and something weird!
Well, it wasn’t a cockroach, it was Cathy. I saw her being too comfortable with Zen. Of course, it’s none of my business, but I couldn’t avoid it. With our increasing liquid intake, it pinched me harder when I saw them getting too friendly with each other. I could see some chemistry sparking up and that chemistry kept me wondering. Why was it happening? It was quite easy to draw a conclusion that either she was unhappy in her existing relationship and hence craving to fulfill her emotional needs elsewhere, or was just looking for a one-night stand. Considering the fact that she seemed more than a genuine person, I told myself the reason for this behavior had to be the first one.
Now is it right? In my perspective, definitely not!
All relationships are unique, and all relationships go through speed-bumps. It’s simple: what goes up has to come down. So whatever the problem may be (I insist, it could be anything), it has to have a solution. It entirely depends on the couple and how they handle their state of mind. They must encourage it to not grow, killing it at the very initial stage. Handling differences with your loved ones might be the most daunting task—more daunting than choosing what clothes to wear on a Monday morning with that never-ending hangover. I agree many of us witness such episodes, either people at work, neighbors, or a friend’s friend. The thing that troubles me the most is the principles and boundaries we set for ourselves and knowingly/unknowingly break them all for momentary pleasure. Having control on your mind and not getting carried away during any circumstance is the respect given to the relationship you share with your spouse.
Now, not to distract from the storyline, our rendezvous ended that night with the obvious chemistry changing into biology between Cathy and Zen. Good for them!
This episode, apart from making me feel weird, taught me a lesson, strengthened my relationship, and made me draw a practical conclusion: It’s not wrong to fall in love again, in spite of the fact that you’re married. But, it’s definitely wrong to seek emotional dependence outside of your marriage, quoting differences to be a reason. No matter whom you choose to stay with, how many relationships you have, one fine day you would have to adopt a healthier way to handle your relationship, and be true to yourself and to your spouse. Every relationship needs to have a good blend of trust, passion, respect, and love. If your relationship has these qualities, then I am sure the hurdles coming your way can be crossed. I believe that where there is love, there is togetherness, and where there is togetherness, there is love.
Phew! I am over this episode, and its time I start my day with a belief that I never bump into such a person ever again for the rest of my life.
P.S.: Happily ever after. That’s my relationship in three words, and I hope yours is too.