So I just recently joined Divine Caroline, and I’m loving every minute, every article, and I’m going to take a stab at writing an article.
This is a question/venting article. So my boyfriend and I have been together almost two years now. We have the most amazing relationship—when we are physically together and as long as we don’t go more than two weeks without seeing each other. There’s the glitch; we’re in a long distance relationship.
We started out dating and seeing each other at least once a day if not every other day, but then he moved back to college only about one and a half hours from our town. It was easy to see him on the weekends and we didn’t have much of a care in the world. We were happy.
Summer came, he graduated from college, he moved back home. We got into the routine of seeing each other every night after work and I stayed with him on the weekends, all things perfect at this point. Then, he was going to get his associate’s and license in Mortuary science, gross I know, but the more time goes by the more I’m intrigued with the field. So, I was fine with that, the college is about two and a half hours away from our home, still not a bad distance.
We don’t get to see each other now but maybe one time a month. I started getting worried because his calls and texts were less and less frequent and I started to worry that something was going wrong. Inevitably, I started snooping, looking for any evidence that something might be wrong or maybe I was just over reacting? So I look on his computer and he’s been searching porn like an addict! I was mortified; our sex life is definitely not lacking other than the fact that we don’t see each other weekly. But no evidence of cheating, so to say the least I was relieved yet mortified at the same time.
So … my realization and my conclusion. We are fine! Long distance relationships suck, but he’s worth working on. I can deal with the slowed communication because it’s not life or death that we talk every day and I can deal with the porn because hey, we all need a little help sometimes.
Firstly, you have to understand that being in the funeral business, your hours are not a set 8–5, they vary a lot. I have started to realize this and that it takes a toll on anyone in that business no matter how calm, cool, and collected you are. So, there comes the lack of communication, I never know when he’s at calling hours, or embalming a body, etc., so therefore I have patience and understand he’ll call/text when he gets a chance.
Secondly, we see each other the first day we have time. It maybe a random call—hey, we don’t have any bodies this weekend deal—but it’s worth it.
My only challenge is that I don’t want to be blinded and just settle. I know once he’s done with school things will calm down, there’s only nine more months left until that date. So do I keep trying for a perfect relationship when we are physically together, or do I give up and possibly give up the one who makes me the happiest in the world just because we’re having some communication challenges right now?
