I’ve loved one grown-up boy. He is my kid’s father. Our relationship was good in the beginning. I never questioned his love for me. Then comes this mess. He turned his back on me and I haven’t had a good relationship since. Being with him taught me a lot about guys—period. Here are some of the things I learned.
1. When he calls you past 10 p.m., it’s only for one thing and it’s not just to “talk.”
2. If he does not talk to you don’t force him to. If he does respond it will be with sarcasm.
3. If he gets your number and does not call for a month, but all of a sudden he’s “close” by and wants to know if you can ‘‘come out,’’ usually it’s not just to sit on the porch and talk.
4. If he hides his stuff, then don’t go looking for it. You usually find it and cry your eyes out.
5. If you call him anytime of the day and he does not pick up, he does not want to talk at all.
6. When you plan a romantic night for him and he doesn’t come, drink the wine and blow out the candles.
7. When he comes to you after calling you all kinds of names and says you look good, don’t fall for it—he just wants sex.
8. If he looked at you one way and y’all connected, and you look at him now and think what the heck was wrong with me then you always felt that way. It’s nothing new!
9. If you cook and he doesn’t eat it, don’t cook for him anymore. He has usually made his choice by now. He wants to be single.
10. Just because you love him does not mean he has to love you back.
So in all this (and a lot more) I have learned that I am more than just a good hump in the bed. I am good. I learned to not give a damn about his opinion and love myself regardless of he feels about me. I am better than this! I never ever looked at myself to see that I am strong and I need someone stronger than I was. I deserve the best because I give my best. If he didn’t love me, it’s his loss—not mine. Leaving him gave me the opportunity to find me and now that I have arrived I love it and I am not going to stop learning and growing. It’s his loss and my gain. Haha!