Love but Let Go

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I had been in a relationship for several years, and I was certain that this was indeed the man of my dreams. I believed that he was the one that I would truly grow old with and spend the rest of my life in pure bliss. The more I learned of him, I realized that he had such darkness surrounding him. He had low self esteem and a pretty lengthy history of abuse in his childhood.

Just a few months into the relationship, I discovered that he was an alcoholic. He began a cycle of cheating, lies, and constant manipulation. I would leave, and then he would sweet talk me right back. I was more sad than happy in that relationship, to the point that I dreaded holidays. There was never much laughter, and he was so unemotional and unresponsive to things. He had little to no family support and seemed to draw me into this dark emotional cave with him.

Being the loyal person that I am, I tried to hang in there. I spoke encouraging words, I brought a Bible and devotionals just to try to help him to change and to develop his faith in God. No matter what I did, things never changed. It was still lie after lie and woman after woman. there were days that I begged God for a way out. Each time, God will provide the way, and I'd get out only to go right back to this abusive relationship. But why? Simply because I had a self-esteem issue. He was treating me like I was treating myself. I wasn't valuing my time, life, or health.

We were like oil and water. I was the God-loving, church-going gal, and he was the street-thugging, neighborhood dude. Perhaps, I just wanted a taste of being with a bad boy and living on the wild side for just once in my life. This relationship cost me so much. It was never worth everything that I have lost.

Ladies, please understand that a man that loves you would desire to make you happy and bring you joy not pain, stress, and continued misery. A man that loves you doesn't cheat on you and lie straight to your face. He won't lie period. Just a month ago the last piece of evidence that I was searching for manifested itself. It was a well-versed card from another woman to him saying I'm in love with you. This did it for me. All these years of pain ended for me at that moment. I finally took my way of escape.

I loved him with all that I had, and he walked all over me. I learned that I wasn't the problem, he was, and that I was so much better off without him. Recognize the signs of abuse and get out of the relationship. Love but let go.



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