When it comes to love, I can’t call myself experienced.
I envy (!) those people who have had been in long-term relationships; though they have loved and lost, at least they recognize what real love is. I don’t have a clue.
I think all I’ve ever had was a long list of crushes, something that closely resembled a relationship but wasn’t in retrospective, and a few first dates here and there. There were lots of possibilities and potentials and some almost, shoulda, coulda, woulda but like that old Brandy song says, “Almost doesn’t count.”
What I learned was that with each guy you meet and fall interested in, you change a little. Not in such a way as if to please him, but you can’t help it when you find someone fascinating, you delve into their passions and interests just to understand them a little better. That’s why I always feel that boys are the best teachers you can find. They bring you out of your shell, and make you step out of your comfort zone and broaden your perspective. You see life from another point of view, and a lot of times, I find that with every guy I’d met, I’d gained something from them; whether it was a new interest, an acquired taste in a drink or a type of food I never tried before if not because of him, and some can actually fix your attitude; mold you for the better. I could never be one of those extreme feminist women who hate men, and believe in the lesser side of men. I am grateful for them—I am what I am because of my mother and the men in my life. I come from a family of all-boys and I think it is through the opposite sex that I learn most about myself; other than books, men are the key to my own self-discovery.
But something else I learned was that you never really quite know just how much you actually liked someone until after ‘in retrospective’ comes in. There were the ones I thought I was head over feet into, but later, realized, I was more interested in the idea of being with them, than them themselves. Then, there were those I denied my feelings for, but long after, I realized what a fool I’ve been. But you know, you learn. You learn to figure out what’s real and what’s just in your imagination. And through trial and error, you learn to distinguish between the gems and the fakes. The seemingly nice guys sometimes are actually the most insensitive jerks. From experience, I learned that the ex-girlfriend is the best measure of a man. If she was a b***h, you can bet he’s worst. In the Al-Quran, it was said that “Good men belong with good women, vice versa.” I believe in that.
Part 1 | (Part 2)