Lover, Man, or Enemy?

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I have been with the same man for twelve years. Unfortunately, I never really stood up for myself until recently, when I moved my sixteen-year-old daughter in. She started telling me that I deserve more because he doesn’t think that feeding me is his responsibility. I don’t have a job right now. I am looking and the last job I had was caring for his grandma. She has passed and I grew to love her. But here it is two days from Christmas, and me with no job and no money.


Asking for something to eat always ends up with us fighting. I may be down, but when I do have money, I give it to him. In 2007, my dad shot and killed himself; he said, you are coming home. I did and I put $10,000 in his account—money I should have used to make my own life without him. But hopes and dreams that I thought could maybe happen were just that—dreams.


Last night I read a text he wrote his homey. It was asking her if she knew anybody who would kill someone. His next text was to have me killed. He really doesn’t need to worry about following through with that, because that right now has pretty much killed me. So now I sit here, all those years I tried to do the best I can and unable to walk out that door like he wants me to without our daughter in common. Christmas is two days away and I have the worst pain in my heart, wondering what to do.

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