Man and Woman: The Ongoing Conflict

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Encouraging a good relationship is always easy if you follow the right path. The thing about a relationship with another person is no two people are alike and what is good for one isn’t necessarily good for another. There are solid foundations needed to accomplish a great relationship. If a person is willing to sacrifice the me and concentrate on the we they are on the right track already. The first thing is to know sometimes toes get stepped on when getting to know each other.

Ultimately the first foundation to a great relationship is meeting the needs of the other person. The reason why dating couples are so excited like they are on a high in the beginning is because they spend their day coming up with ways to please the other person. A little extra care in wearing the favorite shirt, the scent of perfume that they commented on and liked so well, or making a special homemade card to say how much they mean to them. These are just examples, of course, your relationship may look a bit different. When you are concentrating on pleasing the other person you take your eyes off of yourself filling up their cup rather than filling up your own. Inevitably yours will be taken care of as when you dote on another person the tendency is for them to reciprocate somehow. The reason for giving will be more beneficial if there is no expectation of what you will get in return. The process of filling another’s cup brings a good feeling inside which in turn fills your cup taking away the expectation that another person is responsible for making you happy.

There are innate differences between man and woman however the gap can be bridged with patience and understanding. One must truly listen to what the other is saying. The most important piece of communication is the ability and wiliness to listen. Communicating effectively is an art few have mastered. it would behoove you to work on improving this daily between you and your mate. This is the second layer to a solid foundation. When your significant person is speaking to you give them your undivided attention nodding, making eye contact, smiling at the appropriate times, genuinely hearing them out before interjecting your thoughts or your response to what they communicated. Don’t get so caught up in what you want to say as a response you don’t hear what is being said for that is a real turn off to the speaker. Refrain from offering advice unless advice is solicited. Many times a vent is necessary and the need is to just say it getting it out there. Girls will do this when processing something upsetting to them. Men as a general rule like to be the fixer to the problem and that is not always what is needed here and can often times create a resentment. I believe the difference here is when a man speaks about a problem he is looking for a solution and desiring your input. Before jumping to conclusions, however, make sure you ask if it is okay to offer advice. This would be the diplomatically way to handle this.

These are just generalizations but women like to cuddle and men like to hang out together. Women like to be touched and men like to look and then touch. When you touch a women she may just want a hug or a soft touch that says I love you. When you touch a man you may very well end up in bed. Be aware of the subtle differences and cherish them don’t resent them. It is wonderful to have a companion that is not just like you. How boring that would be.

Accept a person as they are. We all have beliefs that have developed in us over time as we mature. Know that you will not always agree with each other and encourage each other respecting the differences. Too often we are rigid in our ways refusing to tolerate the other and challenge their difference. It is like a dance, you move together one goes one direction and the other follows and then back again. It is not always necessary to agree with one another but it is vital to a solid foundation to be tolerant of one another. The last layer of the foundation is tolerance of each other differences. It’s okay if he doesn’t like to shop and she doesn’t like to fish although it is nice when you can share these things together. Plan a day that you just do things he likes and visa verse. This is a great way to show you really want to understand them and meet their needs.

To sum it all up you must have a solid foundation, meet the needs of the other, master communication by listening to each other and show tolerance for the differences of the other. These are important keys to a successful relationship. Know that with love you will grow apart at times and grow closer at times, this is growing and maturing when you can do this without attacking each other. Be patient and know that each stage you go through is an opportunity to grow closer to each other.


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