I have met very nice men, but for some reason I haven’t found the “right” man for me—until now!
Dating online is very common these days. I’ve been dating online for the last three years. Perhaps I’ve been too picky in the past, but it looks like I have found my man!
Many women I know tell me too many bad, sad stories about dating online. I’m sure there are a lot of weirdoes and jerks online—especially on the dating sites—trying to get women to satisfy their base instincts or passions. This is why we need to be careful and act with caution when we date online.
I’ve subscribed to different sites: match.com, Zoosk, Yahoo! Personals, and SingleParentMeet.com, and for the last year I have used craigslist.org (CL) to meet men. Why craigslist? True, it’s been said that CL is a dangerous website for personal ads. You can find all kinds of people, and almost the 90 percent of them are looking for sex and fantasies, even people advertising in the “platonic” category. Yet with all of these difficulties, I have been introduced to people I can really relate to through CL Los Angeles.
I do have some rules I use to date online, and they have worked very well for me. I’ve never had a bad or dangerous experience—even though I have met some real losers! Those experiences are just something to remember, and laugh about!
Here are my rules:
Writing Your Ad/Profile:
It all starts with writing your ad or profile.
Spend some time thinking about what are you looking for. Is it a long term relationship (LTR), a friend with benefits (FWB, NSA), or just a friendly companion to talk with?
Be honest with yourself. Make a list of your positive personal qualities, but don’t lie or try to be perfect. There is no perfect woman or man out there, and we all know that.
Mention all the things you are looking for in a man, physical and emotional. There is nothing wrong with being picky. Look for the “right” man for you. Also, I don’t post my picture in CL ads. I ask for one and I promise to send mine in reply.
Don’t forget to write a catchy headline for your ad or profile.
When you get a reply e-mail, spend some time reading and analyzing everything about it.
The content. Is he answering your questions? Commenting specifically about your ad or profile? It could be just a “copy and paste” e-mail. If he is asking you to go to a Web site and look at his profile, it could be spam or a porn site.
The pictures. I don’t like nude or body (no face) pictures. Look for natural, candid shots.
The e-mail address. Check his e-mail address to see if you can find more information, such as his name, a business/personal website, his age, and more. When I see a complete name in an e-mail address it looks more trustworthy to me. If I find a Web site address, I check the Web site. Sometimes I find more information about him—and more pictures.
Reply only to your best prospects. Don’t waste your time answering nasty or snarky e-mails, and don’t be mad about it, either. Just ignore it, and delete them. When you find someone you’d like to meet, thank him for his reply and tell him more about you in your email. Don’t give too much personal information (like a telephone number, address, who is living with you, etc). Ask questions like: What do you do for work? What are you looking for in a woman? Do you smoke/drink/420? And any other questions you want to ask. It seems most of the men who are looking just for sex don’t like to ask personal questions or write a detailed reply.
Exchange three to four e-mails before you talk on the phone. Spend some time getting to know him better. When you decide to meet him, it would be better meeting him in a public place (mall, restaurant, park, etc).
Something very important to remember:
Before you meet him, tell someone you trust, like your best friend or a family member, that you are meeting a new man. Tell her where you are meeting and give her his personal information, such as a name and cell phone number.
When you do meet him, be yourself and always have fun!
Before I write an ad or a profile, while I’m evaluating replies and writing my emails, even when I do go out and meet a man, I always practice my own positive affirmations first! I believe and feel that I will find a good quality man.