No, it’s not about a pie or a dessert; it’s about what I relate to how I feel tonight.
Is it said that there’s no fight between a has-been friend and an actual enemy, what they shared, what they lived, it’s marked on the sky with hope, wishes, and love, a kind of love that you feel because you just want to. It’s not a forced love, as in the family, it’s something mutual, from the heart and just by will of both sides. Well, that’s what they say.
I feel that a feud like this is not moratorium of a friendship, because in that case, what’s the point of intentionally trying to screw somebody’s life if that person doesn’t matter to you anymore; I think about it all the time, and I know deep inside that the relationship that once enjoyed of a positive side, has gone through its negative, but I guess it has been too long since shadows started to diminish light and brought tears, disillusionment and despair, at least on my side of the moon.
My blueberry nights refers to how I am feeling today, even though I have too many things to be grateful, I have a bunch of good friends by my side (at least when you were not around), but I can’t conceive that every time you come around I can feel something different in the air, I feel targeted, or maybe it’s not your intention, but believe me, you screw me once and again and again.
I know that one of the most famous military strategies is “divide and conquer,” and you just have to admit that you know your game, and how to use it against me, because at the end that’s it, is against me, even though you don’t see it or don’t want to accept it.
Why? Just because I’m no longer a part of your crew, doesn’t mean that every time you crave for something you’re going to take mine. And don’t misunderstand me, I’m not referring to the crew as mine, cause its yours too, but would it be so harmful for your ego to accept that we’re on the same ship? We have the same crew, and it’s not fair to monopolize it with your good ol’ companion and your trippy nights under the influence of alcohol, cause believe me, it’s nothing special to me. I can do that too, but I really doubt that you could offer as much as I do, entirely to our crew, be there when it happens, be there when they need you, but hey, you’ve specialized in bringing smiles to people, aren’t you? Well keep doing that, it’s not my problem, what is my problem is that you can’t act like somebody of your age, or at least as somebody that has made so many mistakes, and dare to look at them as choices you’ve taken.
Is surreal how much damage you’ve done and after all this time, you keep trying to do more, and you do. But after all, my only sin was being the best I could in every facet I was facing, because of that I can stand tall and stare at your eyes, but would you have the courage to do that, too?
I can’t keep looking my crew then disappear just because you want to, I can’t keep looking at my crew and say leaving me alone and taking sides. Or maybe showing you a face they don’t show me, just because you’re not mature enough to accept that it’s the same ship we are sailing in, and also don’t forget that the fact that you have a hat, doesn’t make you a captain.
I can’t keep feeling my blueberry nights, at least not because of you, because you’ve planted so many blueberries here that I’m about to make a pie.