I was twenty-three and living in Europe on the day he walked into my place of work. He was thirty-seven (ex-military working on a US Air Force Base). The chemistry between us was immediate and palpable. Without hesitation, I gave him my number and we were together everyday for the next three years. I never thought that relationships could be so perfect—we didn’t argue, the sex was incredible, and we were best friends! He had been honest with me from the beginning and told me that he was legally separated (not divorced) from his wife and he never tried to hide me from his family or friends.
To this day, I am still unsure if it was immaturity or inexperience that made me grow so impatient. The divorce seemed to take forever and I wanted to get married. He had already proposed, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch. Eventually I became resentful and I left him. Not long after I learned that he resigned his job and returned to the United States.
The next five years was a series of rebound relationships for me … nobody came close to what I had with this man. I thought of him often. Then, unexpectedly, he contacted me through email! He had no idea that I had also returned to the United States, and was desperately trying to reach me.
We began talking and getting to know each other again, but it was obvious that we both still had feelings for each other. After just one month of emails, he asked me to move across the country to be with him! The catch? He was remarried, and—yep, you guessed it—going through another divorce. I was devastated! Could he really expect me to put myself in the same situation again? Would I always be the one he came to when his marriages were failing?
After telling him that I was no longer willing to play the part of the other woman, I have not heard from him. My mind tells me that I made the right decision. Unfortunately, my heart is broken. I know that I will never have such a deeply passionate relationship with another man. This doesn’t mean that I do not believe I can find love again … but I know that any man I choose to be with will always be a distant second to the one man I will always love.
