Oh, Give It a Chance

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“It” being love.

When I was sixteen, I wanted a guy who was hot. At seventeen, after my hot ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I wanted no-guy. At nineteen, when I was strong enough to move on from no-guy to some-guy, I wanted a guy who was not-a-cheater but somewhat hot. At twenty-one, when my not-a-cheater-somewhat-hot boyfriend, disappeared after six months without a word, I wanted a non-disappearing-kind of-hot boyfriend.

And my list changed throughout the years. As I dated and went through relationships, my list was revamped innumerable times. Things were deleted, added, re-added, reworded, deleted for the time being, deleted permanently, so forth and so on. Years later, I figured out what I really wanted—what really worked for me. But I have a secret—I discovered what worked for me, after I met “who” worked for me.

I realized that the top quality on my list should have been for me—to give love a chance! I had been list-bound hardly ever getting past it to see what was right in front of my eyes staring me in my face. Every guy I met was appraised against the list from the first moment. He’s too short, he’s too tall, he talks too much, he doesn’t talk enough, he doesn’t make enough money, he’s too ambitious, he’s too goofy, he doesn’t have a sense of humor … oh I could go on and on and on … and I did—for years.

But that one night when I met my guy, if I had stuck to my list, I would have passed him up. But luckily that drunken night, I gave my list a toss and myself a chance. Alcohol made me kick the list, but do smart single women have to depend on anything to find love? No—it turns out that you just have to be open.

 P.S. My man defeats half the things on my list—maybe the things I thought I needed but didn’t, and I’m in the best relationship of my life.


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