After two years of silence, I was resigned to the fact that I would never hear from you again. It took a while, but that was okay. I got over it.
I got over you.
But, tonight, I had one missed call, and it was from you. The you that I never erased from my phone’s contacts. The you that I never erased from my memory. Twenty seconds of hesitation, and I called you back. Of course I called you back. And there was that familiar voice again. There was that familiar laugh. That undeniable connection we had … there it was. It’s a beautiful fact that time cannot truly erase chemistry. There was that jitter in your voice … those gentle stutters … those awkward pauses and fumbles for the right words. And there I was, back to who I used to be—the one waiting to catch those words. The one who held those words, cradled those words, and yearned for more. In a matter of minutes, I was transported back to a time when your words, disguised in magnetic eloquence, tricked me into believing I was the one you wanted. And, tonight, hearing the tremble in your voice and picturing your lips curl into a smile that I induced, well, I was ensnared again. That’s all it took. Two years of silence dissipated by a forty-minute phone call.
I wonder if it sounded too forced when you told me your news. Did my “Congratulations!” seem genuine? Did I seem to take a believable interest in your fiancé’s occupation? Did you buy it when I said, “I’m so happy for you.” I made myself believe it as I pushed those words out of my mouth. Could you hear me gathering my heart in my hands, hoisting it off the floor and back into my chest? Did I sound convincing when I told you I really want to keep in touch with you? Could you hear the silent “goodbye” seeping between my words? Did you know that my pride could speak?
After two years of silence, you still have a hold on me. I know you know this is true, and perhaps the silence has been warranted. But, you need to be the “one missed call” I no longer return.