When I met Justin, it was like quiet waters running through me. I could feel the quiet, talented, reflective, gentle spirit within him. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt and conservative comfortable shoes. He wore his hair in a short afro; very clean cut. His skin was smooth and the color of pecans with a ruddy undertone. How I loved what I saw and felt in those few short moments.
He felt what I felt and asked me to stop. I had come on too heavy. I had not said a word. He felt it all from my eyes. They danced with excitement and joy. He had not touched me but I was in ecstasy. I just felt all this passion dripping off of him.
He was a vendor for a company that I thought was excellent for the teachers and students I represented. When I found out whom he worked for I could not wait to see the materials that he had, for I knew instantly in my spirit that my school would buy the materials. I just knew, I cannot explain to you how, I just knew. He gave me his card. I introduced him to my AP that was with me and my other colleague and the rest is history.
My teachers did like the materials once they were introduced to them. They wanted teacher’s editions the novels, the texts, and the CDs that went with the program. I told him and his supervisor what the teachers wanted. They said that they could cut a deal and work out a package that could fit our needs and they did. It was beautiful. Everyone was pleased: the teachers, principal, the company, and me. Well the only thing with me was that I did not get the man. It just was not happening.
I met him unexpectedly at a Whole Foods. When I see him I tried to avoid him. I refused to speak to him because I knew how I felt so it was no need to aggravate myself and make him think that he was king of the hill. Therefore, I ignored him. We passed several times in the store. I refused to speak to him. I felt pretty good about that. I was being strong, not frivolous, in my feelings, letting them run all over the place.
I was ready to check out. He comes and gets in line right behind me. He spoke, I gave a weak, hi. He started talking and asking did I know about any of the restaurants around the area. I said, yes there were several down the street. He asked me if I would join him for dinner. Of course I hesitated, I was thinking where was this going? I was nervous; what should I do? As thoughts turned in mind, the lady/cashier at the check out jumped in and said please say yes, yes. I acquiesced. I was already weak trying to be strong. He really could have pushed me over with a feather. When I said okay the cashier got so excited, she was tickled and saying say yes, yes, and pulling her fist down like she was at a basketball game and her team had just scored. I guess she could feel what I was feeling. We found a Greek restaurant down the street. We ate outside. I found out that my feelings were right, he was such a passionate man. He had been married and had children. His wife had died from an illness. He was deeply in love with her even beyond the grave. Theirs was one of those loves that lasts forever.
I was also to learn that he had a passion for architecture. That was his second love. He had been an instructor at a local university. He taught in that realm. He loved Frank Lloyd Wright and so did I. He went on architectural tours as I did. I was so excited that I did know what to do with myself.
That day we talked about work, architecture, art, and our passion for the city and, of course, I learned of his love for his former wife. She was very much alive and sitting at the table with us. I feel her presence and could almost see her sitting there with us. I felt she was pretty about my size or a little larger; not larger than a size 8/10. Her complexion was similar to his.
Before I left him that day we made arrangements to meet in Oak Park to go on a Frank Lloyd Wright tour. I met him in Oak Park, it was a cold day and I was not dressed properly so we saw the tour in his car. When we wanted to see the houses closer, we got out and examined them closer. The homes were beautiful. I was in heaven. I was in amazement of what I experienced.
After the tour we talked religion, his aspirations for wanting to build, design, and create a home. I also found out that he was married with a small child, bummer. There was a fizzle that left me. He hesitated about us going to dinner after the tour. We finally decided to part ways. I never heard from him again.
I left that school and went to another. He came there selling educational materials. There were materials dropped off. I missed him because I was at a meeting. He left his dolly there and came back the next day to retrieve it. He still had the smooth demeanor. I could feel the quiet running waters within him. I knew that my eyes danced when I saw him. He gave me his card and said we should meet each other for coffee. I was elated. It is the little things that give me a rush. Well needless to say that never happened. He has left the company that he worked for. He has never called me again. Regardless of that, I still felt a spark between us. Sometimes we have to exercise discretion and respect for ourselves as well as for our loved ones.