Revenge of the Revenge of the Nerds

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There are several million issues with this article by Ashley Nelson. Most of them come from being completely unable to justify their ridiculous or stupid claims. It is also a major hint that the capricious chimera of crappy communication isn’t worth reading. I love alliteration. Let’s get started though with the first thing that grabbed my attention.

Napoleon Dynamite wasn’t an instant cult classic for nothing.”

Not a cult movie, too many people have seen it/ heard it, it also sucks. Second, it is too new to be a classic, coming out in 2004. A cult classic is something like Tuesday, made by eight guys on a thousand dollars and only has a hundred legitimate copies in circulation. Or Troll 2 which has just enough fans to allow it to be released in theaters twice; once for being in theaters and bombing, and again for a celebration of how terrible it is.

“Not only are we instinctively drawn to the underdog”

Technology jobs are some of the most well paying and most necessary jobs in the world today, in addition to allotting for new science and change for society. And this is hardly something new. The most consistently useful and well paying jobs on earth have been related to science for the last two hundred years. I’m not saying nerds/geeks will always be involved in these or that they will make the most money, I’m just running with the implication that such stereotypes pervade and mostly fuel the fingers of this witless writer.

“We want to be challenged in our dinner date discussions about foreign policy, and understood when we explain just why the phenomenon of Pi deserves its own national day over dessert.”

Not everyone is interested in international politics and most of the geeks I know are particularly recalcitrant when relating their understanding of such. I do like politics myself, but once we’re done with this article take a moment to think of how appealing a geek who is interested in global agendas looks.

“Because really, how many of us are inherently the jock or the prom queen at the end of the day?”

Considering most schools have sports teams of some sort and almost every prom has a king & queen, there probably are still some, but unlikely that enough people willing to waste their time reading this tripe. Secondly, I know a bunch of geeks who were also jocks in the stereotypical sense. For example one of my friends who reminds me of Jayne from Firefly, works in construction and plays Dungeons and Dragons on a regular basis. In addition to being a geek, he regularly smokes semi-legal substances and treats women as a joke at best to be casually tossed aside if they become bothersome. I’m by far no more a feminist and hardly think he’s wrong for doing such. Geeks sure are great huh?

“Who better to call to check out our hard drives after a computer glitch?”

I worked with a girl who thought I was her tech support since I knew how to look up how to fix computers on the internet. Not only was it supremely obnoxious and I always told her to look it up herself every single time after the first, if a girl I was attempting to date continually did the same it would be the fastest way for me to direct her to Geek Squad and then ignore further calls for unpaid tech labor.

And honestly, when a geek who seems to know everything about computers is “fixing” your computer, more often than not they are using this strategy. Not all geeks know everything but we’re exactly smart enough to fiddle with menus and read articles online or walkthroughs. It is sad that this knowledge isn’t more widely known.

“I’ve seen Rebel Without a Cause and all the Die Hard movies. I get it. Women’s instinctual attraction to the bad boy is supposed to date back to the primal forces of sex and survival. However, as far as I’m concerned, we’re above the ooh-ooh, ahh-ahh Neanderthal role-playing.”

It is clear that this person never saw either of these movies. While John McClaine is not a nerd, he isn’t an unthinking brute or the movie would be about twenty minutes long. He uses his brain first to take out individual or small groups of terrorists, as he is outnumbered and clearly the underdog throughout the movie. Rebel Without a Cause has NOTHING to do with being physically powerful, but instead a rejection of societal norms, which is what being a geek essentially is. So clearly this Nelson is either lying or can’t understand the basic premise of two very simple movies, neither would shock me.

“It’s no coincidence that Millhouse is the best Simpsons character.”

Millhouse is a very one-note character on the show and has become more and more stupid and less funny with each episode or overexposure. He works at best as a background character to the rest of the show and partly due to being a straight man, due to his ignorance about most of the world. Millhouse is not only not funny, he’s not very smart.

While many geeks are socially inept, that’s not something to be interested in! It makes for unsettling conversations that seem almost rehearsed to drive people away. For every successful geek in the ocean of dating, there are hundreds of schools of plankton that will never be swallowed in any sense of the metaphor, mostly due to obsequious personalities, questionable hygiene, and selfish socially stunted behaviors.

“Even more specifically, the survey found that 82 percent of IT ‘geeks’ interviewed said that their partners’ pleasure was the most important thing to them.”

Geeks are particularly good at two things universally: procrastinating and deception. The reason for the latter is due to the former. We’re well used to making up reasons why we are not done with X and that we need to work on it more. Also, most smart men would want to look good, even if in survey. I can easily imagine half or more simply saying what they interviewer would want to hear, the theory being that if enough of them do this it will overall be a net gain if a few more women are willing to look their direction. Also, it makes them look better as an individual.

And most gamers in particular would easily choose games over their girl, not out of malicious intent but due to the strange geek ability to lose touch with reality on a regular basis. Geeks are project driven people and they really love to jump around between their varied interests. Most take an interest in women and Richard Feynman a well renowned physicist and womanizer is a prime example of treating getting laid as an experiment to be tested and perfected.

“Granted, most women love a man who can openly watch The Notebook and talk about feelings.”

I would rather spend the entire night coding in assembly than watch a chick flick and talk about what I felt beyond boredom. If I could do something else quietly while a movie that does not appeal to me drones that’s fine but honestly, no one enjoys being forced to do something that doesn’t appeal to them. Ask a geek who attempts to introduce his girlfriend to D&D.

Geeks have their own interests and they are highly specialized in some cases. If they are interested in you as a person, they are likely to try to understand your mind through observation and query and they will do the same if they just want you physically but be much more clinical, if they’re not very adept at manipulation.

“Fitness workers, by the way, scored lowest among all those questioned, with only 41 percent admitting to caring about their partners’ needs—ready to switch your six-pack for four eyes, yet?”

Here’s another lapse of logic. The most common physical trainers are young. The reasons for this are to use sex to sell partly, but more due to the fact that a sixty-year-old physical trainer will probably not be a consistently useful worker. At the very least, they would cost more to insure. While tech based jobs can be done by anyone and are actually preferable for the out of shape or enfeebled as opposed to construction work or other strenuous daily activity. And you can work in the fields of geeky technology for decades, as opposed to a few years at most.

Why do I mention this? Because the younger you are the less you consider others in general. They are considered the mistakes of youth and most people regret them later as they grow out of them, even if they commit such acts at all. A young geek is probably just as likely to break your heart as a young physical trainer is but will probably have a completely different method.

“When my boyfriend announced that he was getting Lasik surgery a few months ago, I was unnerved. Glasses are my thing.

Gee, I sure hope that when I’m about to undergo surgery my girlfriend’s first thought is how it will affect her attraction to me. Being nearsighted is never fun and I can completely understand a person wanting to skip past the morning quest for their spectacles once and for all. The surgery isn’t something to be taken lightly though, as your eye is cut open, while you are fully awake and the lens exposed and reshaped by melting it to a new form to account for your eye degeneration. Keep in mind you will be completely awake for this. To compound this, many nerds are very verbose and are completely willing to give anyone a play by play of their experiences with anything from their graduation from college, to the time they had their eye cut open and reshaped by lasers. Plus social norms aren’t universal for nerds and we’re all well trained through our own lives to be uncaring of eating while hearing such to the point where we might not even consider it.

In addition, glasses do not equal geek. Astigmatism is a genetic factor for the most part and can also be brought forth by some geeky activities. Everyone these days uses computers on a daily basis in developed nations so expect glasses, lasers, contacts, and geeks to become more common.

Overall though, geeks are people of extremes. We tend to be rebels in some respect. Nerds are highly intelligent and those smarts can get used to do anything from inventing a new method for cloud computing to manipulating women. The smartest villains in fiction and most of history’s truly evil men were brilliant minds that twisted, while still seeming quite genial. Underestimate the bespectacled and supposedly downtrodden and your stereotyping could end in tears.

Everyone prefers to find someone similar to them and shared interests can make most relationships swim well. But picking a man out of a fetish for an imaginary style is both as reprehensible as looking for a woman with big tits, and as poor a barometer.

Take my advice but keep in mind I could just be toying with you like a bug in a jar.



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