Save Your Marriage – Go to Bed Mad

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I don’t care if everyone under the sun disagrees with my favorite advice on how to stay married: I shall continue to believe that one should always go to bed mad.

I feel compelled to say this because I was at a wedding last weekend where once again I heard someone dust off that old chestnut about not letting the sun go down on your anger.

To which I say: anything that helps extinguish my anger, including darkness, is a good thing!

The worst arguments I have had with my husband have been late at night or in the wee hours of the morning. Hurtful words are like dark, foolish thieves that appear under cover of night bent on stealing reason and rationality. They are born of frustration and fatigue and—in my case—a desire to shut the fight down so I can get some sleep.

And we all know that the words that shut a fight down are the words we inevitably regret the next day.

I believe my happy marriage has been preserved on more than one occasion by a conscious effort on my part to bite my lip, stop trying to thrash or shout my way to a resolution and JUST GO TO SLEEP!

And as much as I may toss and turn and mumble bitterly before I drift away, there’s something about the morning sunlight that usually makes thoughts of murdering my husband seem just a touch melodramatic.

There is a certain hour of the night in which it becomes impossible to be logical about anything and despite what anyone says, it’s better to hit the hay, than hit the husband.

My advice to newlyweds out there? Go to bed mad—it’s better than staying up all night fighting.

Originally published on DonMillsDiva


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