Seven Facts You Should Never Share on a First Date

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It’s your big night, your hot date. You’re likely to be nervous, and for some, this means nonstop chattering. What issues should you guard against mentioning during your time together? We are counting them down.

7: “Financially, I’m doing great/awful.”
Many people draw conclusions about others based on their income, investments, family wealth (or poverty), and so on. You want to be evaluated on who you are—your personality, beliefs, ambitions—not your income-generating potential. This goes for in-depth conversation that may conspicuously point out your wealth. (“I do like to summer at my home in Saint-Tropez.”) 

6: “My last relationship was a disaster.”
Less history equals more mystery, or something to that effect. There is no need to go in depth about how you were wronged or who you may have wronged (oops!) during a first date. Try being a good listener and finding out all about your date, rather than filling the hour with romantic horror stories. It’s often tempting to fall into stories of horrible dates, as we all have them, but if you’re not careful one of those stories may say more about you than your bad date partner.

5: “I did want to tell you a dark secret …”
This may seem obvious, but you cannot trust someone you just met with really personal information. Give them time to prove their trustworthiness, and keep it light on that first encounter. There is no “full disclosure” rule in effect on a first date. You have the right to withhold almost every unflattering fact until it is established that you like each other and want to pursue things.

4: “I’m in recovery.”
Many of us have them and deal with them and are proud of overcoming personal demons—but it is best to wait a bit before revealing this particular piece of sensitive information. Again, keeping it fun and light on a first date is highly recommended! Of course, it may come up, and that’s fine. (“Oh, do you not want any wine with dinner?”) Just don’t feel that you have a responsibility to share this detail.

3: “My family is crazy!”
So your mom left your dad for his best friend, or you found out five years ago about a long lost sibling. Most of us have some sort of familial skeletons in the closet, but it isn’t fair to your family to reveal this to someone you just met. Oversharing can equal sudden dating death!

2: Liar, Liar
Embellishing the story of your life is never a good idea. Some people feel that they are not exciting and experience pressure to exaggerate their life. Be honest and truthful about who you are, you want your date to fall in love with you as you really are. Not some amped-up version.

1: “Will you marry me?”
Yes, it happens. Should it? Never! Even if you feel an amazing connection or intense infatuation—keep your feet on the ground. Let’s add to that any kind of “Oh my God, you’re so perfect for me!” talk. It places additional pressure on the situation and can take a nice, pleasant first date and make it very creepy very quickly.

Yes, there is more! Get seven more things to never reveal on a first date and more at eHarmony Advice!


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