Single or Single-Minded?

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Sex and the City told us that we are allowed to be single and fabulous, and Bridget Jones taught us to dream for the elusive Mr. Darcy. But how many of us out there are just binding our time till we find Mr. Alright-if-that-is-all-I-can-have?

It isn’t even a question anymore in this day and age that women don’t need to be rescued by a white knight in shining armor, but it is nice still to know that you can come home to the warm, strong body at the end of the day. The rules have changed and the name of the game is mud. As in, nothing is as clear as it should be.

The computer age, for all its perks and wisdom, has made things harder to gage. In the past when we met someone, we had physical clues that outweighed the verbal to help decode whether or not they were a good match; now we have fifty questions on whether they like red wine or beer on every electronic dating service you can think of. When is it a case of being too picky or just wanting someone truly compatible? 

I recently fell into this bear trap myself. I was chatting with an old buddy from school who I hadn’t seen in ages and there were a few moments when he was very flirty. So much to the point that I started to think of him as a good idea. We made plans for a few nights later and less then a half hour before he was to pick me up, he canceled. Though the reason was believable, it still seemed … rehearsed. Then after another two-hour internet chat few nights after that, we made plans again. This time I waited for three hours for him and he never showed. He had stood me up twice within one week.

Up until a few hours ago, I was still kicking myself for the whole thing. How could I have read him so wrong? What I should have been asking myself was How could I have read me so wrong? Thinking that I would be okay with just a quick fix to my lack-of-a-boyfriend problem. Something in my gut had told me from the beginning that he was nowhere near being Mr. Right, and obviously not even worth trying on as Mr. Right Now. So many of us seem to be throwing away our morals and dreams of happiness for a quick fix and the rest of us seem to be throwing in the towels.

All this brings me back to the main question I had to ask myself—how many of us are just taking whoever we can get?


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