A Soon to be Single Mom

+ enlarge

I never envisioned myself as a single mother. The idea always frightened me. I mean sure you hear about women who get divorced or widowed and have to raise their children on their own but for me it’s a different story.

I am 26 years old and 5 months pregnant with my first child. I had pictured myself being married with a nice little house first. However life doesn’t work out the way you plan. For two years I was dating an incredibly handsome man who appeared to be romantic and charming. However I soon learned that behind that mask was a sinister liar. At first things were great and I saw him constantly. When I didn’t see him he would call or email. He even convinced me to move to a town about 15 miles away from where he lived so we could be closer to one another. I loved him so much that I gave up my job and moved.

The moment I moved everything changed. Not only did he vanish on the day of my move leaving me to move all by myself but vanished for a couple of months. Not a word or an email. It wasn’t until my beloved grandmother died that I finally got an email from him. Apparently he was in another state working on a special assignment. I was stuck attending the funeral without his shoulder to cry on. He promised to come and see me for my birthday but weeks went by and there was no sign of him. He didn’t make an appearance until a few days after Thanksgiving. He said that his workload kept him busy even on the holidays and I believed him. The visits became fewer and fewer. I was lucky if I saw him three times a month.

In the beginning he would come and spend time with me. We would go out to dinner and then hang out. Sex came later on in the evening. However things drastically changed. His visits would consist of a quick bite to eat then a quick trip to the bedroom where sex would only last a half hour if even that and then he was out the door to a so-called important meeting. Soon it came to be that all he wanted was sex. Even when I’m sick with a bad cold he dragged me to the bedroom. Even though I was unhappy I stayed with him because I feared that no other man would want me. After all, I had always had trouble finding a boyfriend where I lived. I always had to search the internet to find one. Sex soon became a major issue. I agreed to use birth control but he on the other hand refused to wear a condom. I pleaded and begged but as always, he sweet-talked me.

Then it happened I ended up pregnant. Maybe it was the horrible cold I had that week or maybe I had forgotten to take the pill but it happened. I felt strange and not quite myself and I shrugged it off until I was a few weeks late in getting my period. Three pregnancy tests and a doctor’s visit confirmed it. I was indeed pregnant. I was both happy and frightened. I mean I always wanted to be a mother it was number 1 on my list of goals. I loved kids and I wasn’t getting any younger. However I dreaded telling my boyfriend because I knew he wasn’t ready for kids.

The moment I told him he hit the roof. The first words that came out of his mouth were “Get rid of it”. I immediately told him No! I wanted the baby. He called me every name in the book and blamed it all on me. He said that I didn’t ask for his permission to get pregnant. He said that I would get fat and ugly and no man would ever want me. I was a disgrace to him and if I chose to keep the baby he would hate me forever. He then threatened that if I went after him for child support he would make my life a living hell. He would get a lawyer and take the baby off of me, out of spite, then give the baby away. He became this vicious cold hearted monster. I told him that I was keeping the baby and would raise it on my own. He laughed and said that I would fail.

I wondered what the hell I ever saw in him. I kicked him out of my life and took on some overtime determined to save up money on my own. My family let me move in with them and agreed to help me raise the baby. Then a shocking thing happened. A man from my past resurfaced who was always a great friend and we pursued a relationship. He is thrilled that I am having a baby and wants to be a part of my life and the baby’s. In fact, he wants me to move in with him and has agreed to help me raise the baby. I don’t regret my decision. I love my baby more than life itself. I consider my baby a gift from God. Though I know that the road ahead won’t be easy I accept the challenge and through it all, I have emerged much stronger than before.


Loading comments...