I was recently reading an article here in DC, about letting go and it was a really informational article. The purpose of this article is to address such a thing that recently happened in my life. I broke up with a woman I’d been seeing for over a year and a half, and funny enough, it wasn’t hard to let go. In reading that article, it mentioned a word “choice” and thank God today, I have the choice to choose who, what, when, and where, I will allow another person to dictate my life for me.
As with all relationships, they start off good (but I think it’s important to get to know the person, before embarking on greater things) but the Red Flags were thrown up immediately in the relationship I was involved in, disregarding the Red Flags and maybe hoping, I wasn’t hearing or seeing, what I really was, hearing or seeing. As time when on, within two weeks of the relationship, the words, “I love you” came into play and I questioned those words, so soon into the relationship.
Yes, it’s possible to be in love, two weeks into a new relationship, but when you don’t feel that same love coming from the other side, then maybe you should step back and assess those words, until the other person begins to feel the same way. Four months into a relationship, you shouldn’t demand/hint/suggest, that you move in together, heck, you still are new and learning the other person, why ruin it with a move so large. Well, I’m speaking all of these things, because these are the things I was going through with that relationship and I knew from my own life and my own experiences in life, it doesn’t work like that, get to know a person really good, before you think, you want to move in with them, it creates problems from who’s clean and tidy to who’s nasty and dirty, what guidelines you live by, versus the guidelines that person lives by, it’s just a move that maybe after a year of getting to know each other, you talk about it, together, then make that decision.
Anyways to move on more into my article, how can you love and stay with someone, you don’t love, but you stay because you hope and pray, your feelings would change and things would then get better. Well, they never did, after she moved in with her kid and thirty days later, moved out and things were never the same after that, we had problems with responsibility from day one, the fifteen-year-old kid, never felt like she should have responsibility or rules and wanted to just do her thing and I had a problem with that. I spend thirteen years in the Air Force, so discipline is something I learned and it’s everything I teach the youth as I’m coaching youth basketball and football, and what I will teach my little, after joining the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.
Once they moved out, the relationship went downhill, but, it was downhill when it started and how it started, I prayed that I could find a way, to allow it to go, uphill and I never found that way. We were just two different people, living in the same time zone, but with different values and upbringing. So, after sixteen months, we parted ways and the racial slurs and the hateful text messages begin, and I admit, I stooped to this person’s level for a minute, but caught myself and said, just because it didn’t work between us two, no reason to spew hatred towards each other, after all, there must have been some good in the both of us, to have lasted, sixteen months. So, the choice to move on sometimes is hurtful, the healing process after moving on, is better, you get over it and move on with your life. Yes, it’s hard to let someone else go after spending months with them, but when it’s not good, it’s not good, you can’t stay there and pray after sixteen months, it get’s better, when you see it daily, it’s getting worst, so move on …