Staying and Sane and in Love When Merging Households

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I admit that after being single for so many years, merging households with Russ wasnt easy. I wrote this list of tips based my experience of moving in with Russ. Keeping these things in mind helped me stay sane and in love.

1. Detach.
Youve got too much stuff anyway, and you know it. Acknowledge that theres a lot thats got to go. Edit your half of the equation as much as possible before attempting the big merge.

2. Remember that you’re partners, not rivals.
Youre in this together now. Its not a competition. Your stuff is not intrinsically better than his, or vice versa.

3. Hold space for “sacred cows.”

There are lots of things that are important to each of you, even if not valuable in terms of either aesthetics or money. Honor them.

4. Be practical.
When there are duplications, whether its a dining room table or a colander, stand back with as much objectivity as possible and ask, Which one works better?

5. Take a step back.
Theres no rush. If you hit a sticking point, back off, lay low, and wait it out. Remember that both of you are doing a lot of adjusting. One persons turf is being invaded and the other is feeling homeless and in need of a nest. As each settles in a solution will usually present itself.

6. Be open to trial and error.
Nothing is written in stone. Think of the merging process as an ongoing experiment. Be willing to at least try to eat on Aunt Tillys dinner plates. Keep an open mind. Again, its only stuff!

Photo courtesy of Vibrant Nation

By Sarah Gayle Carter for VibrantNation


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