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Strange But True: Men I’ve Met Online

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In my search for love and romance, I’ve left no stone unturned. I faithfully did the things Cosmo said to do: volunteered at organizations with like-minded men, made sure I looked cute in the frozen food section of the grocery aisle, became active at my church, went to the gym, hung out at Barnes and Noble, and the list goes on from there.

Of course, no search for love would be complete without the men I’ve met from online dating sites. The things they do and say can be pretty outrageous: like the one who gave me the “compliment” of having “beautiful bells.” “Beautiful bells?” I asked, “ Exactly what is that?” His response? ” I’m talking about your breasts! When you hold them up by the nipples, they look like bells!” Silence on my end of the phone, as I am dumbstruck. That was a first for me. Rest assured, I never spoke to him again!

Then, there was the guy I met that I talked to on and off for a time. He sounded great on paper; single, no kids, good job, nice house, and fairly attractive. I found myself thinking often, “He seems to be a great catch. Wonder why he’s still single in his early forties?” Perhaps it’s his strange habit of whistling like a bird unprovoked in front of people he just met. The “Whistler” as I will call him had decided to hang out one Fourth of July with his friends and then mine.

Me being the reasonably sane individual I am, I went with him to his friend’s house, acted appropriately, thanked the host for the food an all around pleasant time, and that was it. Now, it was time to go to my friend’s house. Introducing a new potential man to your friends is a terrible time to find out that he doesn’t have social skills. As they tried to learn more about him, and include him in conversations, they were met with cryptic or one word responses. Then came the bird whistling (literally) as he came from washing his hands.

Just like people try to ignore the pick elephant in the room, so did we try to ignore him. When we left, I asked him, “Why on earth were you whistling like a bird in front of my friends???” His reply? “ I like birds.” 

I know the saying is that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, but when did guys whistling like a bird on a warm spring morning get added to the equation?!

Online dating takes courage, a sense of humor, and rather thick skin, so even though these are but two of the strange individuals I’ve met, all I’m looking for is one decent, compatible man. Hope springs eternal, so wish me luck! 

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