A little update on Lulu—I’m not engaged yet. Not chomping at the bit as much as before. I think blogging about the emotional build-up helped. Now I’m just happily awaiting the surprise and enjoying the ride.
There are sensitive conversations that come up in this time of limbo though—and for the sake of sharing one real girl’s experience, I will share my personal experience with you all.
At this point, I am not sure if the ring/rock has been purchased. I know an immense amount of research, level setting, likes and dislikes have been hinted, tested, and discussed from one side to the other a few times. My boyfriend and I have a very close relationship, so not doing something together and deciding on it together I think has been the biggest challenge of this whole thing. We want it to be a surprise rather than something we go buy together. And unfortunately I don’t have a dream ring in mind, so I can’t give him much guidance on the whole thing.
So every so often he will bring it up, or I will, or somehow we will get on the topic and start talking through what we like, what we don’t like, etc. Today the topic were three styles like the ones above.
I love the style on the right, as this is what my mom has, and I think it is beautifully traditional, but I also like doing things a bit different than the rest, so saying that that is the style I absolutely want has been tough. He likes the look on the left, picking a great stone and then not distracting the eye from the stone with other stones. And we both like the look in the middle, but it’s a bit trendy right now. So here we sit, unsure of what we want. Where I find myself between a “rock” and a hard place, is that I don’t know if he has gotten it yet, so when giving my honest opinion, I worry that sometimes he might already have the ring, and may just be verifying his choice with these types of conversations. And that my responses are not always what he wants to hear.
The truth is, I am not totally set on any type of ring, and although people always say, “you’re going to be the one wearing it, it’s all about what you want,” I actually don’t agree. To me it is all about what we both like. The ring is as much his as it is mine—and I think we women forget this sometimes. I would be just as happy, if not more happy, with a ring that he picks out because he loves the image of me wearing that exact ring, rather than something slightly different that may be more my pick. And you can’t really go wrong either way. These sparkly diamond rings are so amazingly beautiful and mesmerizing, you just can’t go wrong.
Anyway, ask anyone who knows me and you will learn that I am often the victim of paralysis when presented with too many choices. Give me parameters, and I work wonders within restriction. Give me endless choice and I am as aimless and paralyzed as an ant off the chemical trail.
It’s crazy making such a big choice together, when you can’t actually go make it together. Luckily I can be pretty sure that whatever he picks will be beautiful, and a surprise.