Whether you are single, dating or married, if you want to experience more love in your life or within your relationships then you need to follow these three steps:
1.No more excuses. Ever.
No more blame, rationalizations or justifications either. Your job, your finances, your “story”, your fear of being held back, your health, the kids, the house, a fear of rejection or even your lovability have nothing to do with your ability to experience love in your life. Thus, if you are not experiencing the love you want, there is only one real reason why. At some point during the course of your life, you made a decision that it was okay to settle for less. As such, your life and relationships will continue to mirror that decision until you choose otherwise. When you really say yes to living a life filled with love, that’s exactly what show’s up for you…a love-filled life.
2. Identify and deal with your “hidden stress”.
The moment you say yes to experiencing more love in your life, your hidden stress about actually having that love will slam home hard. Why? Because until this moment, not only has it also been your “secret” reason for why you’ve limited the love in your life or kept love at arm’s length, it’s also completely founded on a fear-based belief.
So how do you bring the hidden stress to light? Ask yourself this one simple question:
When I think about truly experiencing love in my life and within my relationships, I feel stress because _________________. (Side note: You may need to ask yourself this question several times until you move past your excuses, blame and justifications and finally arrive at your truth.)
Yet once you unveil your hidden stress and arrive at your truth, then you need to realize that it isn’t the truth. Instead, your hidden stress is only a belief disguised as truth and one that has shaped your reality and thus your love experiences so far. Challenge the validity of your belief and then watch as your reality and experience of love changes too—and for the better.
3. Change your story.
You can’t be the lovable hero of your own life experience if your story requires you to continue playing the role of the downtrodden, unlovable victim. Thus, your story as you currently tell it, is limiting your experience of love. However, the key to transforming your story is to look through the mess and find your empowered message of love. Once you uncover this hidden gem within your story, it moves you beyond tragedy into triumph. It turns your, “I can’t…because this happened to me,” into a “I can … because I experienced and moved through this.”
Above all, no matter what you do—excuses, hidden stresses and changing your story aside—if you truly want to experience more love in your life remember that the transformation always begins with you.