Maria Shriver recently asked a question on YouTube: What are three things you wished you’d known during your last transition? As she navigates her newly announced separation from Arnold Schwarzenegger, here are the three things I think will be most helpful to her … and things I wished I’d known during my own separation.
Your heart isn’t breaking—it’s breaking open. The transition in long-term relationships, regardless of what happens in the end, is an opportunity to open to more love. By reflecting on what worked and didn’t work, you can choose do be a better person with your next relationship (or your second chance at your current one).
Romantic relationships are our best chance to heal our childhood wounds. In what ways does your partner remind you of your primary caregivers? Your subconscious mind chose him as the best person to give you a “do-over” and heal the wounds of feeling abandoned and unloved.
You deserve to speak your truth and get all of your needs met. If your partner chooses not to respect your needs or allow you to speak your truth, you deserve to find someone who will. This is not something the two of you can manage on your own. If you want to try, you’ll need the help of a trained professional. I’d recommend a therapist trained in Imago Relationship Therapy or a Relationship Coach like me.