Men certainly make it easy for you to get them out of your system—at least he did this time. She was amazed at the hurt she had felt with him, but if she was truly truthful with herself, she had to wonder if she was hurt or if it was her ego. Yes, she had liked him, yes, she still likes him; you can be very angry with someone but that doesn’t make your feelings stop just like that. She has to go with her ego being hurt more so than her feelings. Because as much as she likes him, she knows and knew that he did not like her in that way. And it is amazing how fast she goes on. Yes, her feelings were hurt, but it isn’t the first time nor will it be the last.
She will always find him attractive, smart, and funny, and she has come to realize that she has nothing he wants, and the sad thing is that it’s because of her age. Although he is very close to her age and she thought for some crazy reason they would get along because of that, she’s wrong, because what she did not realize was that he liked women younger. So there you go. Nature of the beast, I suppose. But that is okay too because she is quite comfortable with who she is and her age. No one likes to get old but alas we all must. She does not look bad for her age and the thing is neither does he. But, as she said, she is quite comfortable with who and where she is.
And what is really ironic is that she can still get the younger man, but getting one and wanting one are two different things. It’s nice that she can, but how soon would she get bored? I guess the sex would be good, hell she knows it is, but she likes a man she can also talk to, have a life with. If that is what is meant to be then maybe it will happen, but she is also just as happy being by herself.
She still does not know why she continues to still like him, but she does. But she does know that that is all it will ever be, he is not going to magically start liking her, so no worries for him she will not go that route again as far as he is concerned, she thinks it would have been nice. I guess she will never understand men. There is no rhyme or reason to them.
She understands the younger part—all men desire younger, I think. Okay not all, but most. I could understand if it was a sweet young thing, but she was not even that, but who is she to judge. To each his own. She feels a little foolish because of the way she reacted to him wanting her, after all, what business was it of hers? None whatsoever. It is not like he had given her any reason to think otherwise, so she will take this time to apologize to him for that.
She is at a point in her life when she can move on and get over this, and she does really know that there is nothing to even get over. She had some high hopes, but see where hope can get you sometimes. But she will not give up on love. Maybe someday, or maybe it’s not in the cards for her, or she has already had the love of her life and is not meant to have another—who knows. But she does know that she will be okay. She can go on with her life and enjoy it. She can pretty much do what she wants when she wants or she can do nothing at all; its all her choice now. She will continue to work, she will continue to live. After all that is what being a grown-up is all about.