The Ultimatum

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A whole year I dedicated myself to this man I loved—a whole year. He was perfect in almost every way except one flaw; his love for pot was greater than his love for me.

Yes, I went into the relationship knowing he smoked but I tweaked my expectations in guys just this once because well this was a relationship of firsts. The first person to talk to me at work, the first guy I have ever asked out, and the first guy I dated who didn’t fit my cookie cutter dream guy ideal … and I liked that. I thought things with the drugs would get better as I convinced him to take better care of himself and he did cut back a lot during the first six months of our relationship.

Before I knew it, I was head over heels for this guy but for some funny reason I couldn’t picture a future with him after college and I didn’t understand why. Then I realized every time he mentioned he had smoked I got angry and didn’t understand why he smoked. I realized I didn’t want to picture a future with a guy who had a drug addiction as I learned to refer to it. So I decided I needed to get him to quit for me to see this future.

I talked to him. I tried to explain. He thought I was trying to change him. I told him drugs didn’t make him who he was. I asked him to quit. He said he would in time. I said no now…or you’ll lose me forever. I tried to compromise and let him smoke x amount of times per month. He said “No, sorry” and walked away as I cried out my anger.

A whole year I devoted to him, a whole year with him telling me he loved me more then anything in the world, yet he chose pot. I guess it always made him happier then I did. 

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