Waiting for It to Fall Apart

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Okay, so I’m hoping that this article will help me out with something. Every time I have been in a relationship, I just sit around being all great about it and at the back of my mind … waiting for it to fall apart.

The question is, “Why?”

I have a couple theories:

1. Perhaps on some level I know that the relationship won’t work out for whatever reason (his mom’s an ass, he’s more of a girl than me, it’s long distance … whatever) no matter how nice things are going, I sit and envision exactly HOW he’ll go about hurting me and how I’ll respond. That way I’m ready. Don’t say I don’t plan ahead!

2. I can only trust myself. I am a VERY positive person about pretty much all things. When it comes to relationships, I just seem to have ONLY reservations. Like I said, things could be SMASHING, but I’m just waiting for him to cheat, or lose interest because he is just that … a HE—a MAN and we all know they can’t be trusted. He is also human, and humans change … so I figure if I brace myself for the worst, then I’ll be able to handle it better.

Here’s the trick, there are some men who can be trusted, and there are many relationships that thrive! For decades they thrive and you know that we have to take one day at a time to eventually celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary, right? THAT comes with hard work, love, respect, kindness, and TRUST. I know these things.

The part that scares me is that I fully believe in the power of intention, the law of attraction … that if I think these things and I put them out there, somehow they’ll come back and something great can end because of me and my plain ole stupidity.

So dear reader (if I have a dear reader) what I have to learn to do, is look at my relationships, see them for what they are, and if one truly is a great thing … work hard and do my best, keep my wits about me, stay focused and positive, and envision a bright happy future if that is what looks possible.

Think I can do it? Can you?


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