Once upon a time … oh yes we all heard those familiar fairy tales and some of us actually had that happen to us only to have our hearts broken or our reputations ruined from those “Knights in Flashy Trimmings” I won’t use the usual terms because let’s face it there are too many different princes, kings, knights and dashing Zorro’s out there that will sweep us away and make it all better but, for how long and for whom? For you? For them? For us the couple? I recently watched a rerun of Oprah it was one of the shows where she has on mistresses and wives who had been betrayed. I watched and wondered and thought we as a whole are small-minded beings we women. Now please before you beat down my down yelling what she is talking she must be deranged I must state my case.
First, most of the women on the stage had been unfortunately grown or brought up with the happily ever after notion and that really does not exist in real life, it is an illusion that we all live on and therefore we all live with a preconception of what we think we want in a relationship and if we can have our cake and eat it too why not? Let’s face it ladies if you think long and hard it has been a man’s world for so long, I don’t have the stats but, men do still indeed rule the majority of households financially and money does make the world go round. None of the women on the stage were involved with low-income level households, how could a man have a seven-year affair with out his wife having a clue? I will tell you this she either didn’t want to know or knew and didn’t want to change her life style, but you see none of that came out in the interview because that would make sense. Sometimes the men do want to leave but the wives don’t want them to leave and make it impossible for them to leave because they like their life style and prefer a marriage without love to none at all. As far as the mistress who called the wife, well she saw her fairy tale too, married men usually do not leave their wife’s especially if there are children involved.
I was a bit surprised that my heroine Oprah had an affair with a married man in her 20’s a new tidbit of information I didn’t know but, it is nice know she is human after all. I recently was helping a dear friend with a relationship dilemma watching the show made me realize that people everywhere are basically the same we want to be loved and we want the truth. She meet the man and he told her he was getting a divorce, now does that sound familiar? She began dating him and fell hard for this man. Then all of a sudden once she proclaimed her feelings to him, he and his uncommunicative spouse planned to make a go of it again. This occurred throughout the relationship she dated him for two years and now she wants me to advise her will he ever get divorced? I think not … and I think he likes having his snacks on the side and his wife at home. I also think he and his wife probably get along a lot better than he leads on to her and if I were a betting woman I would surmise that he has a lot more women on the side tucked away here and there. I told her she should try and locate them and start a club. The wife could be president and all the alimony she collects they all could take a wonderful holiday.
Men grew up on happily ever after too but theirs was James Bond like fairy tales always the next conquest and that would be in the sack. Maybe it is the reading material we offer our children we should visit and revamp what teach our young and we would have less mistresses and cheating. I am not blaming just the men because I know women cheat too so please don’t fill my emails men.
Maybe just maybe we should start to have our happily ever after with and start again in our heads this time with the person sitting next to us, the person we made the commitment to live our life with.